Logical to be Illogical
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: Stellar-cycles after being alone on Cybertron, Shockwave found his way back to the Decepticons on Earth. But he finds someone there he never thought he'd see again. Will he learn from his past mistakes? or will things end up the same way in the end? Sequel to "Left for Dead"
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to "Left for Dead". This story takes off where the last one stopped. Enjoy! :)**

**I do not own Transformers Prime :)**

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Scourge stared at the mech in front of her with mixed emotions. Her spark fluttered and yet sunk at the same time. She remained frozen to the floor as Shockwave stared at her, obviously confused. For all he knew, she had been dead for the past five stellar-cycles. And she had intended for him to never know otherwise.

"Scourge…" He said her name and shook his helm. "How is this possible? You are dead. I found the knife, your note, the spilled energon. How are you still functioning?"

She tried to smirk, tried to laugh off the tense feeling in the air, but she couldn't. She felt numb with guilt. "I-I'm sorry Shockwave…" she whispered, her gaze falling to the floor. "I'm so sorry… I just couldn't- I can't-" she shook her helm, feeling her optics fill with long held back tears. "I'm sorry!" she cried, pushing past him to make a run for the door. She could hear him object. He shouted after her and started to follow, but she was quick on her feet and disappeared into another hall before he could exit the medical bay, successfully giving him the slip.

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Shockwave stopped at the door, his servo braced against the wall as he looked down both directions of the corridor. But she was gone. And he had no clue how to find her again…

"Okay…mind telling me what's going on?" Knockout came up beside him, crossing his arms with a calculating look at him. "How do you know my sister?" He didn't turn to acknowledge him, but continued to think. How could she be alive? It was not… _logical_… but with her, it never was. He had seen her Energon spilled on the ground… he had read her suicide note… and she hadn't come back to prove that she was anything other than dead.

"How…"

"What?" Knockout started to look at him like he was crazy, backing away slightly.

"How did you find her?" Shockwave turned to face the medic, his spark pounding strangely in his chest. He didn't know why, but he was feeling anger. "And how can you dare to call her sister when _you_ clearly abandoned her!?" He remembered perfectly the time when Scourge had told him that her entire family had left her for scrap when the war started. If Knockout was truly her brother, he didn't deserve to be. He had left her behind on Cybertron and there was no excuse for that.

Knockout took another few steps back, his optics widening with fear. "Look, I don't know what is going on but I have no idea what you are talking about!" he defended himself, raising his servos in submission. "I was separated from Scourge when we were abandoned _together_ on Cybertron. We got into some scrap and I couldn't find her after that. Until a few stellar-cycles ago I thought she was dead! I picked up a distress signal from her when passing Cybertron to join Megatron here. I had no clue where she was for all that time and she wouldn't tell me what happened. Seriously, I don't know why you are upset!" He suddenly narrowed his optics at him. "How did you know she was abandoned? When did you even meet her?"

Shockwave stood in silence for a time, taking in what he had heard. Scourge had obviously kept secrets from him, possibly to manipulate him in some way. And she had also left Cybertron… without him, even though she knew perfectly well that he would still be there. Why? Why would she do such a thing? He had to find her and talk to her-

_::Father, where are you?::_ He heard Predaking's voice through their private channel and he vented slowly. Of course, he still had to take care of business. He had to get back and patch his creation's wounds… Scourge could wait for now.

But everything in his spark was telling him otherwise…

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**Short yes, But I will hopefully have more out soon :) **

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the Reviews\Favs\Follows! :)**

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To say that she was shocked to see Shockwave, no pun intended, was an understatement. Scourge had thought that she would never see him again, although she didn't know if it was a feeling or a _hope_. The minute she saw him again everything in her spark seemed to fall apart. She had gone stellar-cycles without him, and she was doing better. She wasn't depressed so much since she found her brother again and left Cybertron. She still had her own issues, but they weren't so bad since she had run away from him.

And now that he was back… she didn't know what to do. She felt jittery inside, like every part of her was on an over drive. Her spark pounded in her chest painfully. She wanted to run up to him and kiss him, yet slap him. But all she could do was run from him, as fast as her legs could take her.

::Scourge, what's wrong?:: She heard Knock Out through their private com channel and she slowed her pace.

::It's nothing Knock Out.:: She answered quickly, finding her way through the halls to find an exit to the outside. ::I just need some time to think.::

There was a pause on the other side before he spoke again. He sounded concerned and very curious why she hadn't told him of her previous relationsh-_companionship_ with the science officer. ::How do you know Shockwave? He's been missing for stellar-cycles.::

Scourge sighed in frustration, but answered anyways. ::I was with him on Cybertron while he was developing a Predicon embryo. I was his assistant…:: She stepped out of some Vehicons' way and slipped through a door to the upper platform. ::Look, I don't want to talk about it right now.:: She quickly cut the connection before he could ask anything else, walking across the large platform towards the edge of the level and overlooked the human planet. Right now no one was up here in the 'throne room', so she was free to stay and just look over the land as long as she wanted to.

She had always enjoyed the sight of the human planet. It was soft earthy colors in many places, but also had cities that reminded her of what Cybertron looked like before the war. Of course, the human cities were much smaller, but it was the general idea.

As she stood there, she heard someone walking up behind her. Hoping that maybe they hadn't seen her she stood still and tried to stay calm. She just prayed that whoever it was that it wasn't Starscream. She didn't think she could deal with him at the moment. Listening to the steps they were most definitely heavier than the Seeker's.. a lot heavier. For a brief moment she thought that maybe it was Megatron and she quivered in slight fear. The leader of the Decepticons didn't like her too much because she remained neutral despite the faction her brother chose. He found her to be a nuisance most of the time and a waste of space. In many ways, he reminded her of her father. But the voice that greeted her was definitely not Megatron's. In fact, she had never heard it before in her life.

::_Mother?_::

She whipped around at the animalistic voice, her optics widening at what she saw. "Predaking!" she gasped, looking her Predicon over. He was so big! So much bigger than he had been the last time she saw him. His golden optics watched her as she inspected his matured frame, and he stood up taller. His tail swung back and forth and he bounced excitedly at the confirmation that he knew her.

::_I knew you were alive!_:: He said excitedly through a com channel that she hadn't even realized existed. He circled around her happily, nudging her with his large helm. She laughed and took his large snout between her servos, petting him between his optics. ::_Shockwave thought you were gone, but I didn't believe it for a minute!_:: he nuzzled her stomach affectionately. ::_We missed you so much_…::

Her gaze fell for a moment. We? As in, Shockwave had missed her _too_? He wasn't able to feel that kind of emotion could he? But if he did…

Guilt started to nag at her conscious. How could she have left him thinking that she was dead? What kind of cruel, inconsiderate jerk was she? "I missed you too…" she said quietly, listening as he purred happily. "I missed both of you."

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"What happened to you Predaking? Why are you bleeding?"

Shockwave froze as he stepped out onto the observation platform at the top of Darkmount. Scourge's voice was angry and concerned, and suddenly he remembered that Predaking was every bit as much her creation as his. The thought of her fury at what he had sent Predaking out to accomplish was enough to make him reconsider his logic in patching up their creation right then. Perhaps he should wait until she left to avoid her emotional outburst…

"You Did _What_?!"

Shockwave cringed as the femme turned around, her optics turning a deep, murderous, crimson. And she was looking directly at him. _Too late to turn back now._ Although he was seriously considering listening to his primitive instincts to turn tail to run. Scourge did not look pleased.

"You sent _my baby_ to go fight the Autobots _alone_?!" She stormed towards him, pointing one finger directly at him as she seethed. "_How dare you!_" Shockwave suddenly found himself backed up against one of the tall pillars, his optic widening in pure terror. This femme looked like she wanted to cut his head off! His servos braced against the solid structure behind him as she came closer, and he braced himself for her strike. But it didn't come.

Scourge stood in front of him, her expression conflicted. He could see her murderous thoughts brewing in her mind, but her optics suddenly dimmed back to their original pale blue as they started to tear. One moment she was about to brutally tear him to shreds, and the next she had crumpled into a small ball at his feet crying. The action itself didn't surprise him, she was very strange and illogical, but it did worry him. Was she hurt?

::_Scourge!_:: Predaking padded to her fallen form, crouching down next to her and curling around her body. His optics glared up at him accusingly. ::_What did you do to her?_:: He growled protectively, hiding her beneath one of his injured wings.

"I did not do a thing to her." Shockwave defended himself, taking a few steps away from the upset Predicon. "You saw for yourself, I did not do a thing." He shut up quickly as Predaking's growl increased.

::_Say you're sorry_.::

"I will do no such thing. I did nothing to her." He let a startled sound escape him as a thick tail whipped his legs out from underneath him. "Predaking!" He scolded him firmly, giving him a quick flick on the snout. "When have I ever lied before? What is the sense in that?" he demanded, picking himself up and dusting himself off before reaching down to pick up the dropped bandages he had brought to patch the Predicon back together.

::You've never been nice to mother. You don't treat her right.::

If he was apt to show emotion, Shockwave would have rolled his optic. "You only say that because you are more attached to her than me. Now bring up your wing so I can patch up your side." Predaking turned his face away in defiance, ignoring him. Shockwave was beginning to get agitated. "Now Predaking."

"Just give the patch to me." Scourge's voice came from under the wing as she poked her servo out from underneath it. "He just told me he's not speaking to you again until you admit you made me cry…" Shockwave vented slowly, trying not to be impatient with the two of them. He handed her the patches and the welder and she took them and got to work. "You kind of did make me cry you jerk." She whispered.

Shockwave leaned against the pillar again. He had to find a way to sort this out quickly, that was the logical thing to do. If he did not re-establish good relations with Predaking it could compromise the Decepticons. And the only way to get the Predicon to calm again was to talk to Scourge…to apologize… But first, he had to find out why he was apologizing. "Scourge, why did you leave me on Cybertron?"

"Because you're an emotionless jerk."

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	3. Chapter 3

**This starts off exactly where the last chapter ended :) enjoy! **

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Scourge smirked slightly when she heard Shockwave go silent. Obviously that wasn't the logical response he had been expecting. But by now he should have known better than to believe everything she said.

Predaking made a noise of amusement beside her, shifting his wing to let her out as she stood up. ::_Well, it's not a lie exactly_…:: He sided with her and she smiled.

::_No, but it's not the truth either._:: she looked up at Shockwave, wiping the remaining tears out of her optics. "I'm just kidding." She said quietly, turning to look at her handiwork patching Predaking's side. "But you can't deny that it's true. You claim to be emotionless. And you are a jerk. So that _does_ make you an emotionless jerk…"

He shook his helm in objection. "Your assumed facts are based on your opinion and are therefore invalid."

She rolled her optics at him but she couldn't help the guilty feeling in her spark. She had left him on Cybertron alone. Maybe _he_ wasn't a jerk, but she sure had been. "Look, the real reason you were left there was because by the time I was able to tell Knock Out that I had left someone behind we were already here on earth." She perceived his silence as confusion, recognizing the notion from the way he acted back on their home world. "The distress signal Knock Out picked up was automatic. After I left you… it was just one disaster after another.

"I guess I should start at the beginning…"

"That would be-" He started to say, but she snapped at him, giving him a glare that could have melted him to the floor if she had wanted it to.

"Don't. You. _Dare_. Say. Logical." She warned before continuing. "After I left the laboratory, I was attacked by an Insecticon. It tried to eat me for lunch, but I fought back. In the end, we both tumbled off the cliff." Shockwave's mind was turning, processing everything she said. She smiled slightly at that. She had missed that about him, even though at the time she had hated how he calculated everything she said. Looking back at it, she should have realized that it was just a sign that he was paying attention to what she was saying and trying to understand it. No one had given her that kind of unwavering attention since she had joined her brother on the Nemesis.

Shaking herself, she quickly got back to her story. "At the bottom of that cliff there was a river. It swept me away and I had no clue where I was. And I couldn't find my way back to the laboratory. I was too far to contact you and I couldn't find anything that would possibly draw you to me… and for a long time I figured that you were possibly even glad that I was gone…" he stiffened, and she tried to ignore it, tried to tell herself that he didn't feel anything emotional attached to what she had said. "So I went out as a scavenger again and I eventually found a dormant emergency beacon. I activated it, but I was running so low on Energon I was forced into an emergency stasis.

"That's how Knock Out found me. And that's how I ended up here." She drifted off, shuffling her feet as Shockwave and Predaking stared at her. Two of the most important mechs in her life simply watched her, but she didn't know what else to say. She felt like she owed them something else, but she had no way to describe it. Every second of silence that passed she was begging both of them with her optics, _begging_ for one of them to say something. _Anything_!

::_It's okay Scourge…We're all together now._:: Predaking hobbled over to circle her and Shockwave, trapping them together in the middle of the circle that his body made. ::_That's all that matters_.::

"Is it really?" She whispered, feeling herself start to feel small and unsure. She hadn't felt like this since she was last around the two of them. She felt… unsure. Unsure of herself. Unsure of her worth. Unsure if she was even worthy to call Shockwave a friend, or Predaking her creation. Was she deserving to even be in their presence? Or was Starscream right, was she truly worthless to everyone?

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt larger, warmer servos wrap carefully around her own. She looked up as they pulled hers away from the scratches she was making in her legs, and she was met by Shockwave's bright red optic. "The past is the past Scourge. You cannot change what happened any more than I could." He paused when she opened her mouth to speak, but she closed her lips together tightly again and he continued. "I am just relieved that you did not perish as I thought you had."

Scourge smiled, despite the feeling of depression in her spark. "Thanks Shockwave…" she removed her servos from his slowly and quickly wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "I missed you. You have no idea how much…" She buried her face against his chassis with a quiet sigh. This was where she wished she could be, every moment of every day. The warm feeling of his body against hers was wonderful. It made her spark hum pleasantly and her body relax. She only wished that he would say something; make some move or notion that he had missed her too. But he didn't. Obviously, he had not changed a bit…

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Shockwave watched as Scourge retreated to the lower floors, his gaze on her form until she disappeared into the elevator. It was a strange feeling that had settled over him. When she hugged him he had the sudden illogical urge to return the gesture, to say that he had felt pain at her absence in the last stellar-cycles. But he ignored it as a side effect of the shock of seeing her alive again. It was definitely unsettling.

::_You didn't say sorry_.:: Predaking glared at him, but shook himself in dismissal.

"It is hard to apologize for something when you don't know what you did." Shockwave said simply. In her explanation, Scourge never did get to his actual question. He shook his helm, running his servos over his creation's side, inspecting the patches. Scourge may have been illogical, but she knew how to apply a patch well. _She has probably been taking some lessons from her brother_… he reasoned, continuing to survey the damage on Predaking's wing. It wasn't too serious, but it needed to be tended to if he was to fly anywhere anytime soon.

::_Shockwave, why aren't you happy to see Scourge?_:: Predaking's question made him pause, his spark pulsing in an unsteady beat for a moment. ::_She was excited to see you. But you weren't. Didn't you miss her?_::

He vented slowly, calming the flux in his sparkrate. "We have a different kind of friendship that is the norm. I am pleased to see that she is well, but nothing more." He knew it was a lie. There was something stirring within him, something alien that was connected to Scourge. He had never felt so… _awakened _seemed to be a good word. He was suddenly more aware of everything around her. He was feeling sensations that only came once and a while to him. Curiosity. Disbelief. And a strange sense of loneliness. She had somehow found a way back into his life, but he wasn't sure how to respond to it. What did she expect him to do? He had not changed since they last met; accept maybe for a small change in perspective. He should have been more attentive to her raging emotions back on Cybertron. Maybe then he wouldn't have thought her dead for so long…

"I did find emptiness without her Predaking… But it is something I do not intend to address with her."

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	4. Chapter 4

**So I've had a rather productive day today.. went to work, bit a guy at the pool that wouldn't leave me alone (I knew him so it was okay and he wasn't attacking me or anything), and then finished this. Don't worry about the guy, he's fine. It didn't even leave a mark ;) But maybe he would have stopped had I drawn blood... oh well ;P Enjoy guys! :)**

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Scourge stared up at the emptiness of the black sky, several miles away from the smoldering ruins of Darkmount by now. She had only barely escaped the carnage with her life, her armor was burned and marred, but that was the least of her troubles. She had no idea where the Nemesis was. But more upsetting, Predaking had been sent out to fight the Autobots again only to be sent to his frozen doom in the Arctic. She had traced the groundbridge as soon as it had been activated and it had sent her beautiful creation to the freezing temperatures of the Earth's frozen lands…

Predaking was dead…

Her only creation that she could ever call sparkling, gone. Forever…

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The halls of the Nemesis were in disarray. Shockwave did what he could to direct Vehicons in the general direction they should be going, taking every logical step to bring back order. In his mind, he cursed himself for letting his processings be tampered by his anger. Although it was in no way his fault that Darkmount was destroyed, he felt himself responsible for Predaking's demise. He had a sudden want for revenge, one that was satisfied but now that he looked back at it he knew that it wasn't what he should have done. He should have been searching to find Predaking and bring him back to the war zone. But he hadn't…

An issue for another time. Right now he was busy. He was trying to figure out just how many mechs had been injured or killed in the explosion. So far it seemed that the causalities were minimal. None of the officers had perished, and Lord Megatron was the only one with major injuries. He had combed through the Vehicon ranks and found that some higher ranking drones needed replacements. It was nothing of consequence, but something was nagging at the back of his processor. Someone hadn't checked in yet, and the arrival of a certain mech further added to his unease.

"Get out of my way! Hey, watch the paint!" Knock Out snapped, wading through the group of purple drones to where Shockwave was standing taking count. "Hey, has Scourge checked in yet?"

He was silent, merely shaking his helm. He had been watching for her, wondering what had become of her. He hadn't seen her since she screamed at him for ordering Predaking out to fight again. She had yelled and stormed away from him, and he didn't know what had become of her after that.

"I haven't seen her." Knock Out continued, shuffling his feet nervously. Shockwave simply nodded. "Scrap Shockwave! Say something!" the medic demanded harshly, his tone making him look up at him skeptically. He hadn't been able to see how the medic and Scourge were related at first, there was almost no resemblance. But their emotional instability definitely indicated their familial relationship.

"I have not seen her since Predaking was unleashed. If I was to assume her current location, I would think that she had left before Darkmount collapsed. Her illogical need to flee when upset is a very predictable quality that she has…" he said in a low tone so that only the doctor could here. He continued to check in the Vehicons as they came in.

"So, you think that she is alive?"

Shockwave paused, calculating the possibility. "It is likely." He decided, looking down to make a few notes on his datapad. "We should send a searching party out to find and retrieve her-"

"N-no! W-we can't do that…" Knock Out suddenly looked around the hall nervously. His voice dropped to a whisper, as if the mentioning of a search party were a court martial offence. "Look, I don't know how or why Scourge trusts you like she does, and I don't know if you care about her at all. But if you want her to stay alive, do not send a search party." Shockwave twitched at the illogical sounding proposal, and the medic vented slowly. "Megatron is in stasis right now, but if he finds out that we wasted resources trying to find her he will have all our heads!"

He was about to ask why their leader would do such a thing, but Knock Out saved him the breath. "No one here is particularly fond of Scourge because she remains a _Neutral_ party. Megatron the least. He doesn't like wasting the space or energon on her, but because she is my sister I was able to convince him to let her stay."

Shockwave felt his spark itch in slight agitation at the notion. "He thinks her a worthless waste of time and space?" he had thought that once and had regretted it deeply.

Knock Out nodded. "Yeah…"

"Hm." His optic narrowed in thought for a moment. "Are you presently supposed to be anywhere?" he asked, and when the red mech said no he thrust the check in datapad into his servos. "I will go to bring her back." He didn't wait for him to stop sputtering in surprise before leaving. He left him in the hallway and sent a quick message to Soundwave requesting a groundbridge to the surface of the planet.

"Shouldn't you be working?" Starscream huffed when he passed, but he ignored him. He had more important things to do and it would be a waste of his time to try to explain it to him.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Guest mention of a certain popular Vehicon in this chapter :) **

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"Scourge! What were you thinking?"

Shockwave watched as the femme's brother ran to embrace her. "Quite obviously, she wasn't." He answered for her. He had found her a good three states away from Nevada, and she had walked the entire way. When he found her she was sitting on the crags overhanging a beach. She had been watching the water calmly, not necessarily doing anything dangerous, but it was quite possible that humans could have seen her or worse. The human government could have captured her.

"I'm fine Knock Out…I just need to-to…" her optics traveled up to meet Shockwave's but then they reverted back to the ground. He reasoned that she was feeling some emotion of guilt for running away. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that she hadn't said a word to him since he found her… Was she angry? Sad? He didn't have a clue…

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Scourge sat down silently on the medical berth as her brother scanned her for any injuries. She had told him that she felt fine, but being Knock Out he didn't believe her. He promised that as soon as the scanning was done he would fix up her paint even though she didn't care about it at all. She just let him do what he thought he needed to. The only reason she felt uncomfortable and agitated was because Shockwave hadn't found it necessary to leave yet.

She was mad at him. Had it been orders that made him release Predaking on the Autobots she wouldn't have been angry, but he had _willingly volunteered_ her precious Predicon for the job. And it had lead to his doom.

"Scourge what's wrong?"

She glanced up at her brother, wiping the energon away from her cheeks with a quick breath to steady her aching spark. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Aww, come on Scourge. Don't be like that. Talking always makes you feel better." He encouraged, sitting down next to her as the machines processed the scans he took. "What's on your mind? Is Starscream bothering you again?"

She shook her helm. "It's not that." Her fingers dug into the berth. It might have partially been a lie, but she didn't want to worry him with that. The silver Seeker's actions towards her were becoming increasingly more…violent. But there was nothing to be done about it. Megatron wouldn't pull on his dog's leash because he didn't consider her to be a part of the Decepticons. For all he cared, she could be raped and killed and it wouldn't matter. "I'm just feeling a little…"

"A little what?" he prompted, his warm servo resting over one of hers.

She sighed. "Remember when I told you that I was Shockwave's assistant?" he nodded. "Well, I helped him make Predaking. I guess I didn't do much, but I did contribute a little." She paused with a huff, glancing over her shoulder at the purple mech. "I doubt he'd ever admit that I had a hand in it, but I did. I helped build his CNA, and I watched him grow. He was kind of like a Sparkling to me… He even shares my energon make up. Shockwave and I both contributed some so he would recognize our energy signatures when he awakened to consciousness. And when I saw him awake for the first time I was so happy. My sparkling was finally with me again…but now he's gone, and I don't think he's coming back…"

Knock Out went silent. Obviously he hadn't been expecting that. Scourge waited to see if Shockwave had anything to add, but he was quiet as well. "You know, sometimes I feel like Predaking is the only thing even remotely close to a sparkling that I will ever have…"

"Now that's just ridiculous!" Knock Out objected finally. "Scourge you could have a real sparkling with any mech that you chose! Anyone on this warship would gladly give that to you if you asked."

Scourge scoffed. "Knock Out, I don't just want a sparkling. I want a sparkmate who would raise it with me. Goodness, mechs are so dense…" she gave him a small teasing smile.

"Well, I'm sure you could find a sparkmate too…" He reasoned, shifting a little awkwardly. "Like-who was that mech? You met him a few months ago… Steve? Was that it?"

"Steve's a Vehicon, Knockout!" Scourge rolled her optics. "They aren't even built with that function."

"Oh."

She shook her helm at him with a small sigh, still very much aware of Shockwave's gaze on her back. "No, there's only one mech for me… and he decided a long time ago that he didn't want anything to do with me." She heard Shockwave move behind her, and then the med bay door opened and he was gone. "He'll never feel the same way I do…"

Knock Out clasped her on the shoulder comfortingly, and got up to check the results of her scans. "I'm sure whoever it is will come to their senses."

She sighed. "Oh he has his senses. That's why he won't bother with me. He knows that I'm an unstable, uncontrollably emotional, glitch."

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	6. Chapter 6

**Holy Smokes! This was a long chapter by my standards. Don't expect any more to be this long ;) Enjoy!**

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Immediately upon exiting the groundbridge Shockwave was met with a blast of cold air and frozen water crystals. After the incident with the Autobots on the bridge and almost losing the Predicon fossils he had been ordered to confine himself to his laboratory, but after a few weeks he had had enough of Scourge's words buzzing around in his helm and he decided to go retrieve Predaking from his frozen entombment.

Of course, he knew that Predaking could have lasted an eternity locked into stasis in the cold. But for some reason he couldn't get him out of his thoughts. So, in order to finally focus on the task of creating more Predicons, he had to retrieve his lost one to relieve his conscience, and by extension Scourge's.

He had noticed that she was generally shocked to discover that he had brought Predicons to life before his time with her. But after the initial surprise had gone, she seemed sad. Almost disappointed. He didn't understand why, but he figured she had thought that what they had done together was something special. But the reason she would be disappointed that the feat had been accomplished before was beyond him. If anything, he thought that she might have been impressed. But she wasn't. And since he started the project, by order of Megatron, she hadn't said a word to him. Her actions didn't surprise him, but he was a little confused why she would avoid him so blatantly. He had offered her a place in his laboratory as his assistant and she had deliberately refused with anger. So in the end he had acquired Knock Out as an assistant.

Retrieving his tracker from his subspace, Shockwave turned it on and started to scan for his missing creation. Though the wind and the frozen water crystals blinded his vision he had a fair memory of the area. He had investigated the area in preparation for the excursion, but he had no claims that he had the land memorized perfectly. The storm was sure to throw off his trajectory majorly, but he refused to call for a groundbridge to postpone the mission. He had only a small window of time before Megatron realized that he wasn't working in his laboratory. By then he hoped to return with Predaking in his possession for a thorough thawing.

The screen on the small tracking device flickered and he tapped it, trying to make sure he was going in the right direction. The endless white wasteland didn't help his travel any. He couldn't see which way he was walking, and when he looked back he couldn't see where he had been walking. The white crystal flakes covered his trails right as he left them. If he didn't know exactly where he was going he was sure he would have been lost by then.

In the roaring wind, he had time to ponder his current state as he walked. He had noticed since Scourge's reintroduction into his life that he had started acting in a way that was abnormal for him. At least when it came to his focus. When he should have been working on his projects he found himself distracted with thoughts of her. Questions that he feared that she would never answer. Why was she avoiding him? Why was she angry? What had he done to invite such malady to befall his conscience? He found himself searching for ways to calm her spite towards him. He felt like he owed her something for not pursuing her after she had left him on Cybertron. She had obviously gone through hardships during that time. He could have helped. He could have prevented the whole incident if he had accommodated for her emotional distress. But he didn't. He had let his pride get in the way of the safety of his companion. It was an illogical thing to do. And for that he felt guilt.

He sighed deeply for a moment, trying to push those thoughts aside. Right now he had to focus on finding his progeny. His Predaking. Their creation… and perhaps by doing so he could finally end the turmoil between himself and Scourge.

Shockwave stumbled unexpectedly as the wind picked up, pushing against his back. He took the moment on his servos and knees to regain his bearings. A gust of wind should not have been enough to topple him. Could it be that he was weakened by his seemingly rising frustration? How could he let an illogical notion such as that to control his body? Scourge wasn't rubbing off on him, the mere saying was idiotic. What was wrong with him?

Standing again, bracing himself against the wind, he felt something snag his left foot. And when he investigated it he was met with a familiar set of talons. "Predaking…"

* * *

The monitors that beeped with a steady rhythm set him at ease. So far the defrosting process was undergoing without a glitch, and to add to the list of good fortune, Megatron had yet to discover his temporary absence from the Nemesis. Soundwave or Starscream would eventually inform him, but that would be a matter for when the time arose. At the moment he was content to continue monitoring his patient's vitals.

Predaking's body heat was steadily increasing. The ice that had formed a shell over him during his time in the Arctic had melted, freeing his body to slump onto the floor as the process continued. His processing levels were held at deep stasis but it had started to climb within the last twenty minutes. He figured it wouldn't be long before he regained consciousness. He had decided upon returning not to tell Scourge of Predaking's presence aboard the ship until then. He figured if she saw her precious creation in such a state it would do her more harm than good. And thus, it would further add to the barrier that had accumulated between them. But he swore that as soon as Predaking was stable Scourge would be alerted.

One other matter kept him from telling Scourge about the whole situation: He had no clue how she would react. He could only guess that she would be delighted to see her acclaimed sparkling alive again, but she had been known to render his logical thinking moot before. She often took his intentions the wrong way back on Cybertron, or took them to an extreme. She claimed that he didn't understand her. And that was true. He didn't understand her, but he was determined to make an effort. So with that in mind, he predicted that she would be happy to see Predaking. But he wouldn't know if he was correct until she came.

And so, he waited.

Shockwave took a deep breath, feeling his chest ache with the cold that had set in his own systems from his Arctic exploration. It wasn't serious at all, he would survive it but it was a bit aggravating. He reasoned that he could hook himself to a defroster as well, but since his life wasn't at risk the idea seemed unnecessary and therefore illogical. But the idea nagged at him. After all, shouldn't he take his own advice? He had once told Scourge that if she was cold that she should ask for something to make her warm if she knew she could have it. Remembering those words, he realized that the situation had been very much the same. She would have survived without warmth, but he had provided the blanket to keep her from being cold… _Why did the logic seem so sound then and not now?_ He tried to reason that he had factored in her illogical tenancies, but now he realized that it had nothing to do with that.

He just didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

Shockwave off-lined his optic for a moment in concentration as he played back the scene in his mind. His words were very similar to ideas that Scourge had proposed to him back on Cybertron. Not in content but in measure of logic. Sometimes, one wanted things that were illogical. And if there was no harm in the illogical object, what harm was there really?

"Scourge, what have you done to me?" he sighed, plugging a defroster into the sections of his chest that needed it the most. He could see the logic in her words. It was illogical yet logical at the same time… which was yet another illogical notion. _Why am I even debating this? Perhaps I have fallen victim to a virus._

He decided to put the ideas on hold for the moment and simply let his mind wander to his experiments. But somehow he always found a way back to thinking about Predaking and Scourge. It was beginning to frustrate him further. He was about to go to the medical ward for an all out processor examination, but was stopped when one of the monitors started to go off.

The beeping started to become rapid as the Predicon moved, shifting his front talon tipped paws over the dark gray floors. Shockwave instantly checked his vitals and functions, pleased to see that everything was functioning in its proper parameters. By all looks of it Predaking was going to be fine. With some time for recovery he could even be up to flying within a few weeks.

::_Where's Scourge?_::

Shockwave momentarily stilled at the inquiry, his spark fluttering abnormally, almost sinking at the indication that he was not enough for his creation. _He_ had brought Predaking back from Cybertron. _He_ had gone to retrieve him from the Arctic. After all of this, after all _he_ had done for him, he was still second to Scourge. _Why_?

* * *

"Predaking!" Scourge burst through the door into the laboratory, running straight across the room to him. He looked up at her with a small thumping of his tail on the ground, but he didn't move from his spot on the floor. His lack of movement made her spark hurt, but she hid the worry behind a small smile. Kneeling by his large head, she sat back on her feet and stroked his nose. He made a soft purring sound and she bent over to nuzzle him between the eyes. "You okay baby? I was so worried."

::_I'm okay mother, just cold_.:: he pressed his muzzle against her stomach as she pet his audios and his purr deepened.

Scourge sighed in relief and held his large head in her lap. "How are you back? I thought you had perished in the snow…" Predaking huffed in dismissal and moved his paw over her foot, looking up at her with his molten gold optics.

::_Shockwave brought me back of course! Didn't he tell you?_::

Scourge looked over her shoulder at said mech, her body shivering with anger at his indifferent stare. He was obviously thinking hard about something. His arms were crossed over his chest and his gaze was somewhat distant. She glared at him and she didn't care how immature it looked. He hadn't said a thing to her other than to come to the laboratory.

Standing up, she marched up to him. "You aft!" she shouted at him, pointing her dull fingertip in his face. "You _knew_ he was alive and you _didn't_ tell me! What kind of sparkless person are you?" he shifted under her scrutiny but said nothing, possibly weighing the consequences of answering that question. "Did you ever _once_ think to tell me? Or was it not the logical thing to do?"

Silence enveloped the room and Shockwave was still, stone still. His gaze met hers unwavering, but almost with a hint of regret or guilt. _That isn't possible_. She reminded herself. _I tried for stellar-cycles to make him feel emotion. There's no way he could have developed them at all_. Their stare down continued until Predaking sneezed behind her and she broke it. She looked back at her sickly sparkling, tears starting to develop in her optics. How could he have kept her in the dark about this? He should have told her right away that there was a chance that Predaking had survived! Shouldn't he? She was like Predaking's mother! She had the right to know everything about him… Right?

"Scourge…" She quickly wiped the tears from her optics when he said her name. Turning her back on him she tried to get a hold of herself. Maybe he was right to leave her clueless. She was too emotional for her own good. That was the way she had always been.

The sudden touch on her shoulder made her shiver, and when she looked up Shockwave was standing in front of her again. "I did not want to rally false hopes for you. You would not have taken it well if I had been unsuccessful in bringing him back…" he said firmly, gripping her shoulder tighter in almost an assuring gesture. "I did not intend to hurt you, only to prevent hurt. If I have failed in that _again_ I am truly sorry."

* * *

Shockwave grunted when Scourge practically tackled him. His back knocked against a computer monitor as she wrapped her small arms around him, but she didn't seem to take notice. "Shockwave-.." she cried against his chest, energon leaking from her optics freely. Her whole frame shook violently in her distress. Once again, she proved his knowledge of her emotions to be little. Why was she crying if she was happy to see Predaking? Did he say something to make her upset? Perhaps his thinly veiled reference to her attempted suicide had set her off into depression again?

"Scourge, whatever I have done I am sorry!" he said quickly, hoping to calm her. He wasn't prepared for her to start _laughing_ at him…

"Shockwave I'm not upset!" she chuckled, drawing away from him only enough to look him in the optic. "I'm just-I'm just so glad you brought Predaking back to me… and you even tried to not make me upset… I just didn't think that was ever possible."

He calmed considerably when she explained that she wasn't about to have an emotional breakdown. But he still felt a level of concern for her. Her responses to good things were strange and unpredictable. He made a mental note to keep an optic on her anyways… like he always should have done…

When Scourge relaxed against his frame he realized that he had wrapped his arms around her. It had been an unconscious act and now that he was aware of it he considered removing the contact. But the steady beat of her spark against his made him calm and reconsider. The contact was not doing any harm to either of them. He would allow it this once… just this once.

Predaking made a low growl, the change from his purr almost undetectable, but it was a sound of anger. ::_What is _he_ doing here?_:: he glared across the room to the door and when Shockwave followed his gaze he too felt a little agitation. Starscream stood in the doorway with a smug smirk plastered to his features. In that instant, Shockwave quickly separated himself from Scourge and roughly shoved her aside.

"What is it you need Starscream?" he asked, but already knew the answer.

The silver Seeker chuckled. "Our high and mighty Lord Megatron has requested your presence. Something about leaving the Nemesis without authorization." His smirk grew into a full out evil smile. "And won't he be surprised when I tell him why…"

Shockwave gave Predaking a quick order to keep Scourge out of trouble before leaving with Starscream to find their leader.

::_Are you sure I can't eat him? He just interrupted you and Scourge!_:: Predaking insisted once before going silent at the answer.

::_Starscream didn't interrupt anything of importance. And there is no reason you should find that there was any in what transpired._:: And with that, he left to confront his Master and explain what he had been up to in the Arctic…

* * *

**Hey, just so we're clear: I _don't_ hate Starscream. He is actually one of my favorite Decepticons, but for the sake of this story he is going to be a complete and total aft. ;P**

**Leave a Review! I'll have the next chapter up soon. It's already written so..yeah. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Guess what? This chapter is from Predaking's POV! :D I just had to do this one for him for some reason. Like? Hate? Leave a Review when you're done reading and let me know :)**

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Predaking watched as Shockwave left, his helm cocked to one side in curiosity and slight surprise. How could his father say that the moment he shared with Scourge was nothing? Scourge and him were like his parents, and from what he had learned parents were supposed to like each other. It didn't make any sense that Shockwave wouldn't like Scourge like she did to him. He had once said that their _friendship_ was different than what most normal friendships were, but it didn't seem _right_. There was something Shockwave was trying to hide or deny. Maybe he didn't know it but Predaking could practically smell uncertainty about him. Like he was trying to convince himself of something against what he really felt.

Predaking's helm snapped up when Scourge sighed and sat down next to him again. Her optics were sad. He didn't like it when she was sad. It made him sad just seeing her like that.

"Predaking!" She shrieked in shock when he licked her face. Her sad expression was instantly replaced with a smile as she wiped the wetness away from her cheeks. He put his head on her lap again and looked up at her as she giggled and shook her helm at him. "Why'd you do that? Eew..yuck! My mouth was open and everything!" she teased, scratching him behind the audios again. He let a short puff of steam leave his nostrils and he shook himself. The cold had almost disappeared but his body still felt stiff. "You silly Predicon." She smiled down at him and kissed his nose.

::_Scourge, why do you touch your lips to my nose?_:: He had honestly been curious. He hadn't seen anyone else do it to anybody on the Nemesis before, but Scourge seemed to take his question as him objecting and she moved away looking hurt. ::_I mean-I just want to know why!_:: he shifted uncomfortably on his haunches, wrapping his front paw over her legs. ::_I don't want you to be sad!_:: he whimpered, nuzzling her stomach. ::_Please don't be sad_..::

She sighed, petting him again with a small smile. "Oh Predaking… I'm not sad. For a moment there I just thought that Shockwave had somehow made you like him."

::_What's so wrong about that? Don't you like Shockwave?_:: He was determined to get to the bottom of this strange friendship problem they were having. It was bugging him and he wanted it to stop.

"Oh, of course I like him!" she assured him, looking to the door where he had left only moments before with the ugly little scrawny guy. Her expression became sorrowful again. "I like him a lot, Predaking. But things are just…complicated between us."

::_What do you mean by that?_:: he was tired of all the vagueness. He wanted a straight answer from someone! What was so bad about them feeling something for each other? Was it because of him? Did someone find their little family to be inappropriate? If so, he was going to have to go roast some heads.

"Shockwave and I are in between stages of friendship." Scourge started, her fingertips trailing over the lines and overlays of his helm armor. He didn't mind the touch at all, and he was glad that she was finally explaining something. "A long time ago on Cybertron I fell in love with him. Love is kind of a strong bond that holds people together. It makes them want to take care of the other, to make them happy and comfort them when they're sad."

::_Do you love me?_::

She chuckled quietly. "Yes, I love you very much."

::_I love you too_.:: he purred, and closed his optics as she continued her story.

"Well, anyways… I really cared about him a lot, but he never seemed to like me. I always felt like he was annoyed with me. I went to some.._extremes_.. to get his attention. I just wanted him to say that he cared about me. But every time he helped me it was always the "Logical" thing to do. He never did anything unless it was Logical." She took a deep breath and he trilled sympathetically at her. "When I finally confronted him about my feelings he rejected them. He told me he would never feel the same because he didn't have emotions. I tried again and again to convince him that it was possible for him to feel something towards me… but every time he told me it was impossible.

"You see Predaking, the reason we never see optic to optic is because he doesn't _feel_." Scourge ended the statement with a quiet shudder. Her optics were watering again and she started shaking.

::_But that's not true!_:: he objected, lifting his head from her lap. ::_He told me that he missed you when you were gone. He said he just didn't want to tell you…_::

Scourge looked up at him in slight surprise, but it faded quickly. "In the most likely scenario, he probably thought it was _logical_ to say that to you. I don't think he meant it."

::_But he did!_:: he insisted, his spark fluttering excitedly. He finally knew why his parents were at odds with each other and it wasn't even an issue! Shockwave had feelings. He could sense them. They weren't as prominent as Scourges but they were there. All he had to do was let them show and things could be normal. ::_And just now he was feeling something. I don't know _what_, but he was._::

Scourge smiled, but it wasn't her usual bright smile. It was almost humoring him. He didn't like it that she didn't believe him. "He was probably just frustrated with my illogical need for touch. He tolerates that kind of thing from me sometimes, but he doesn't ever feel anything for me."

::_But…but he touched you back!_::

That made her go quiet for a few seconds, like she hadn't even remembered that. "Predaking… there are just some things that are the way they are, and they won't change. Shockwave calculates everything with logic. Everything he does is weighed and balanced for gain. He probably figured it worked in his favor for the future. He never does _anything_ illogical."

Predaking whimpered, his hopes crumbling. ::_Are you _sure_?_::

She nodded. "There is no way that we could ever be together. As much as I have wanted it all of these stellar-cycles, it just can't be. Believe me, it just won't happen…"

* * *

***Sigh*...poor, poor Predaking... :(**

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	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, another chapter?! Just take this as I feel guilty for not updating all of my stories like I would want to. Work has been taking up a lot of my time lately... **

**I know a lot of you are probably wondering when (if ever) Shockwave will really feel emotions for Scourge.. But I'm not going to tell you, you'll just have to keep reading ;)**

**Thanks everybody for all the Reviews and Fav/Follows! They really encourage me :)**

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Shockwave was generally relieved to find that all Megatron wished to speak to him about was his progress in cloning more Predicons. After giving his Master a report he assured him that he would put all focus into the project now that he was free from distractions. Megatron had been pleased and had dismissed him without another word or comment.

That had been nearly three weeks ago. Since that time he had hardly left his laboratory. Other than to fulfill his self allotted time of one night of recharge a week and to refuel on occasion, his trips around the Nemesis were practically nonexistent. He didn't have anything of importance to take care of other than his work, so he spent every minute in his work space. Knock Out came by every other shift to work as his assistant, but really the medic had no idea what he was doing and was mostly just in the way. But lately he was getting better at just cleaning things and doing the miniscule things that he was assigned to do, leaving him free to worry about the actual work of cloning. Honestly, things would have been going a lot more smoothly and without distractions if Megatron hadn't ordered Knock Out to be his assistant.

Since he had delved into his work he hadn't been questioning himself or his logic. It seemed that the only reason behind his temporary fluxes in unnecessary displays of misjudgment and emotion were connected with Scourge. Her presence had obviously disturbed him, and therefore overwhelmed him with things that he hadn't even considered before. Her emotional responses were baffling and took up much of his processing, and her mere ability to confuse him was undoubtedly a distraction. So, he had separated from her, banning her presence from his laboratory. Of course Predaking had been against such a notion, but as soon as he was given the task to watch and take care of her he perked up again.

So with that one distraction taken care of, Knock Out's constant talking wasn't something he couldn't put up with. So long as the mech didn't start crying they would not have any issues.

Looking up from his readings, it dawned on him that Knock Out had already left for the day. The realization did nothing but make him twitch. He knew the mech would clock out soon, but he had not said aloud that he was leaving. Although it was unnecessary, it was one of the few things that he really enjoyed about Scourge when she was his assistant. No matter what mood she was in she always verbally let him know where she was going and when she was leaving. It helped him to keep tabs on her, and also estimate what time she would be back. Knock Out, although he was her brother, did not extend that courtesy.

Shockwave took a glance at the monitor's clock and contemplated taking a break to refuel. It had been nearly two days since he had left the confines of his laboratory, it would probably do his mind some good to have some fresh energon.

Setting aside his datacharts, he logged out of the computer and left.

* * *

He was just on his return route when he heard Starscream shout something. It didn't bother him at all to hear the Seeker in another fit, but the voice that shouted back did. Shockwave moved forward to look into the normally vacant meeting room, and his audios had not failed him.

"I've told you a thousand times! Leave me alone!" Scourge snapped, retreating behind one of the tables to put distance between herself and Starscream. Neither of them took notice of him standing in the doorway to watch and assess.

"You are a pathetic worm!" Starscream growled, baring his sharp claw-like fingers in agitation. "I offer you a position of actual worth and you reject me? You are not even deserving of the lowest of the low, _glitch_! If it wasn't for my insistence, Megatron would have had you executed or deserted long ago to face the wrath of the Autobots! You owe me your pathetic existence, and yet you still deny me!"

Scourge's body was rigid, shaking in absolute fear. Her pale lips parted to say something to the Seeker, but shut again and she was silent. Her optics locked gazes with the floor in a way Shockwave remembered was her attempt to hide tears. It suddenly connected in his mind that whatever Starscream was reprimanding her for it was hurting her. And for whatever reason, he didn't like it.

Stepping forward to make his presence known, Shockwave stepped to Scourge's side of the debate, placing himself between her and Starscream. "Is there a problem here?" he asked simply, looking at the Seeker with unwavering discipline.

"Why have you left the laboratory?!" Starscream snapped, not answering the question.

Shockwave remained impassive, studying the mech in front of him. Obviously he had interrupted something the mech had been trying to do and he was agitated at him for doing so. "I was in need of some respite. I have come to find Scourge and Predaking." He watched his reaction to the half truth, half lie, as he stumbled backwards towards the door.

"Well then-uh, carry on." Starscream glared at Scourge. "But you and I will be finishing our _talk_ later."

He waited for the mech to disappear completely before turning his attention to Scourge. She was leaning against the wall, taking in rapid breaths in an attempt to calm herself. But her attempts were fruitless. "Scourge…" he caught her attention with lowering his tone. It was something he remembered that she found comforting. "Why was Starscream troubling you?" She inhaled shakily and looked up at him through her fingers. She was obviously upset about something, and so he found her answer to be frustratingly illogical.

"It's nothing…I-I'm fine. Really, don't waste your time with me." She said quietly then pushed past him to exit the room.

"It is not a waste of my time if there is indeed something wrong." He countered, wanting to get the truth from her. But she ignored him, and continued down the hall. "Scourge!" he called after her and she finally stopped. "The last time I ignored something that was troubling you I was led to believe that you had ended your own life. I do not wish to have that history repeated." She seemed to consider his words, but for all he knew she could have been completely deaf to him. Either way, she continued on her way without another word.

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	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter is dedicated to a friend of mine who I just found out is cutting herself... Keep her in your thoughts and prayers, she's going through a lot right now... **

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The halls were quiet when Shockwave emerged again from his laboratory. It was the graveyard shift, and he expected not to run into very many vehicons on his way to his destination. He had actually planned to leave during this time to avoid anyone seeing him not working and perhaps report to Megatron on his activities. He wanted to know for sure that Scourge was okay. He felt that he owed that to her. No matter what he did for her he always felt like he couldn't make up for the pain he had caused her on Cybertron. And so he decided to check on her after she had time to calm down, and at a more opportune time to not draw attention to him and where he was going. If Megatron found out that she was keeping him from his work he would undoubtedly dispose of her as Knock Out had once told him he would.

Using the directions that Knock Out had cautiously provided, he ventured down to the lower decks to where the berth halls were located. Scourge shared accommodations with the Vehicon ranks, as she was thought to be of little importance, but she did have a small room to herself as a result of her brother's nature to get what he wanted no matter what. It was tucked away at the end of the line, a single deep red door amongst the endless rows of purple and grey. Shockwave momentarily noted that she probably kept forgetting which room hers was and therefore needed it to be painted a different color.

Approaching the door he was a little surprised, and mildly concerned to hear shouting. And when it stopped, Starscream exited the room and everything inside went quiet.

* * *

Scourge coward beneath the Seeker, her back pressed against the wall as she willed herself to become invisible. Willed herself to be blind or deaf. Willed herself to die _on the spot_. She covered her audios with both servos in an attempt to block out his words, but like a snake they bit and stung, leaving her feeling hollow and cold.

Claws wrapped around her arms, dragging her to her feet as more disgruntling insults were spat into her audios. She cried out when his grip tightened, drawing Energon from her wrists as he flipped her over onto the berth. She rolled over it to the other side, cradling her wounds and curling into a ball on the floor. "S-stop…" she whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks and onto the cold floor.

"You worthless _glitch_!" Starscream's voice curdled her lifeblood like foul energon. When he knelt beside her and stroked her side his touch was gentle, but then his claws ripped into her exposed back struts and she cried out in agony. "I should have fragged you long ago, instead I give you a choice! And you continue to make the _wrong_ decision…" he hissed, raising his servo and backhanding her. "You wonder why no one cares about what happens to you. You wonder why you are mistreated amongst our ranks. It's because you are _weak_! You are _stupid_. _Foolish_! It's no wonder why Shockwave let you go off on your own to die on Cybertron!"

Scourge wiped some energon away from her lips, her servos shaking. "H-how did you-"

"_Oh please_! That is common knowledge. Shockwave measures everything with logic. And believe me: you aren't worth anyone's time." He scoffed, standing up. For a moment she thought he was leaving, that was until his heeled foot kicked her. "You should be grateful that I even look in your general direction, _glitch_! When you finally find your senses you better crawl to me on your servos and knees _begging_ for my forgiveness! Maybe then I will find it in the goodness of my spark to give you another chance. Until then…" he smirked, picking something out of his subspace. "Think about what you have done." A long and thin blade dropped to the floor in front of her quivering form as he retreated out of the door. Reaching out with trembling fingers she grasped the knife. It was dull, and dirty, but death seemed so inviting…

Scourge off-lined her optics, and raised the knife up to her already bleeding wrists_. A few simple cuts._ That is all that it would take. Just a few incisions in the right places and she would be lifeless by the end of the hour. Starscream wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. She wouldn't have to be scared out of her wits every time she passed Megatron in the hall. She wouldn't be a burden on her half brother anymore. No one would really miss her. Not all that much. Knock Out would eventually move on and focus more on his work. Starscream would simply find another femme to torture. Megatron would be glad to be rid of her. Her other half brother was an Autobot and didn't even know that she existed, so he wouldn't miss her. That left only Shockwave, and he claimed to have no emotions towards her.

There was no one here for her to make her stay.

Slowly, she brought the blade down on an energon vein…and she slit it open. Her lifeblood spilled from the wound in spurts, timed with the beating of her spark. It drizzled down her hand and fingers, dripping onto the grey floor. The pain was momentary, and she quickly moved on to the next vein in her neck.

"Scourge!"

The knife was quickly wrenched from her servos, but she didn't react. She was numb to everything but the energon leaving her body. She didn't see anything other than the haze of her tears. She didn't hear anything other than the beating of her broken spark.

Two large servos wrapped around her arms, pulling her roughly to her feet. When she was standing they went to her injuries. She remained still during the inspection, feeling in a trance. She didn't feel alive. She didn't feel pain like she should have. She felt empty. Cold. Alone.

"Scourge, snap out of it!" she was being shaken now, the firm grip on her never leaving. "Look at me and answer me when I am speaking to you Scourge." It was Shockwave's voice..but it wasn't. It was concerned, worried. It couldn't be him. "_Look at me_." He demanded, pulling her chin up so she was forced to comply. It _was_ him. His one red optic watched her carefully for any sign of recognition, but she gave none. She looked past him without emotion. She offhandedly wondered if this emotionless state was what he felt all the time. If it was, she didn't know how he could live with himself.

Shockwave's voice lowered in intensity, and his grip on her arm loosened. "Scourge, what did Starscream say to you? What has he done to make you do this?" still she was silent, although now she looked at him. Her optics met his and she blinked back her tears with a small shudder. He looked her over, something in his stare changing. "Is this the result of something.._I_ did?" he asked.

Scourge took a deep breath and shook her helm. "No…"

"Tell me what is wrong, Scourge. It is obvious that you have been trying to hide something from Predaking and me." Her spark fluttered painfully at the mention of Predaking. How could she have _forgotten_ about him? What had she been thinking? If she had off-lined he wouldn't have anyone but Shockwave left. How could she have been ready to abandon him like that!?

All at once, everything seemed to cave down on her. She broke into sobs and would have sunk back to the floor had Shockwave not been there to catch her. She leaned into his chest and cried against him. She felt so guilty, and stupid! Starscream was right. She _was_ a foolish glitch! How could anyone ever want her around? She was a burden to everyone. And none of them ever cared about her. None of them cared to try to understand her except Knock Out, Predaking…and Shockwave.

"I am such a glitch!" she whispered hoarsely, burying her face against him. He didn't say anything, but he tilted her helm to look at the cut at her neck. It wasn't as deep as she had intended and he was probably debating whether it was as serious as her wrist. He reached out and touched the slit just above her shoulder carefully, almost as gently as a caress. And the touch lingered there. She closed her optics and leaned into his servo, silently begging him not to stop. But eventually he did.

"Scourge, do you keep a patch kit in here?" He asked. She nodded and pointed him in the direction of the small storage closet to the left of her berth. When he left she instantly felt cold replace the warmth of his frame and she wrapped her arms around herself to get rid of the chill. It felt like he was searching through the contents of her medical kit for an eternity! The pain that she had numbed herself to was hitting her in full and she really regretted ever picking up that knife. She noted that Shockwave had clipped it to a tool strip at his hip.

Her shoulders slumped and she plopped down on her berth, exhausted. The bruises and dents in her marred armor only added to her misery. She traced her fingers over her wounds and pain flared up in her side. She grimaced, and tried to hold back her gasp. But, like most all times, Shockwave heard the outburst and turned his attention back to her.

She quickly averted her gaze to the floor as he returned with the full kit in servo. Her spark thumped in her chest painfully, but not from the loss of Energon. She wanted to hug him so badly. But she restrained herself. She knew that he wouldn't appreciate the emotional outburst…

Shockwave looked her over again, and she could almost feel his gaze linger on the wounds that Starscream had inflicted on her. The dull achy pain seemed more intensified under his scrutiny, and she covered her side with a hand to ease it. The motion didn't escape his notice, and he knelt down in front of her to look it over. Moving her servo away, he tested the sore spot until she had to bite her glossa to keep the pained noises back, then he moved on to the next abrasions. One by one he inspected, but it took her a moment to realize that as he was doing that he was also patching her wrist where she had cut herself. Shockwave wasn't much of a multi-tasker anywhere outside of his laboratory, so the fact that he was doing just that made her realize just how upset he was about her condition.

Once the silence had gotten to an unbearable point, Scourge finally stopped his work with a touch to his servos. He looked up at her and waited silently. "I-I didn't do all of this…" she started to explain, and he continued to give her his full attention. "S-Starscream…" she looked down at the floor, her tanks feeling sick. Why was it so hard to tell him what was going on? "He's been bothering me for a long time."

"Why is he troubling you? And why is he hurting you?" His to-the-point questions helped set her at ease. Normally his totally logical and non-emotional side bothered her, but when she was explaining things it helped to know that he wasn't formulating any preconceived notions and was instead collecting information to act upon.

"Starscream wants to take advantage of me…" she implied vaguely, hoping she wouldn't have to elaborate. But apparent by the confused look he gave her, he didn't understand what she had that the Seeker could desire. "He's…He's trying to force me to-" she bit her lip, unable to say it aloud. It hadn't been the first time that a mech had threatened her with rape, and it probably wouldn't be the last. But admitting that to him wasn't easy. "He wants me to interface with him." she finally spat, looking away from him so he wouldn't see her tears. The explanation seemed to take him by surprise, and she could understand why. _What mech would ever want to be with me?_ She remembered the many times Starscream had told her that. No other mech would ever want her for anything. After a while, she had almost given in to him and let him do what he wanted to, but then she came to her senses and again denied him.

There was always an abusive side to him when it came to interactions with her. But, she had noticed it escalating ever since Shockwave had returned. He was quicker to respond with violence when she rejected him, and his blows hurt more, physical and verbal. If Shockwave hadn't interfered the other day, she was sure she would have ended up pinned against the wall.

"If companionship is what you desire Scourge, why do you deny him?"

Her optics widened at his response and she nearly glared at him. "Because he's an _aft_! He doesn't want a relationship, he wants something he can frag, and _that's it!_ He beats me and he is the most annoying mech in the history of Cybertron!" When she finally paused for breath Shockwave was staring at her, taken aback by her ferocity. She quickly lowered her voice and calmed her demeanor. "And…I could never be with him. Even if I deserve all those things, I could never be with him…"

"Why?"

She shuddered sadly, a tear escaping her optic. "Because… I already love you… How could Starscream ever compare?" her attempted humor fell flatly and it only resulted in her crying again.

She buried her face in her servos with a sob. "Shockwave, I don't care if you don't have any emotions for me. I don't care if you never love me back. Just please-" she couldn't hold herself back anymore, but he didn't seem to mind when her arms wrapped around him. "-_please_ just protect me from him. I am _begging_ you! Just don't let him hurt me-don't let me hurt myself! I know I have problems. I don't want them anymore! I need your help… I need _you_…" she pulled back just far enough to kiss his faceplate and then buried herself against his chest again. "Please… just.. _help me_…"

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**Leave a Review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I have been waiting so long for this chapter! Hope you guys like it as much as I did writing it :)**

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When she finally stirred awake Scourge felt warm and secure. Her blankets were tucked up to her shoulders and wrapped around her snugly like a cocoon. Her arms were wrapped around herself like a tight hug and her legs were tucked up to make her look like a little ball. It was perfect. She had no place to be, so she could just lay there in comfort until she felt compelled to move.

That moment came much sooner than she expected.

Something shifted beside her, and a light weight pressed over her side. The touch was warm and firm, like she was being held. As she started to become more alert to her surroundings she realized that her back was pressed up against something, or more likely _someone_. For a horrific moment, she raced to remember what had happened the night before. Starscream had been in her chambers. He was yelling at her. He had been trying to get her to…to…

_Oh scrap!_ She didn't dare move. If it was Starscream sleeping next to her she had finally betrayed herself. She betrayed her feelings. She finally broke the one promise she had made to herself. And in a way, she had failed Predaking. All he wanted was for her and Shockwave to be together, and she had ruined that by sleeping with _Starscream_!

At that she finally started to squirm. She had to get away before anything else happened. If she was lucky, Starscream would be happy with their one night stand and not care about her. But what if he became angry that she left? What if he hunted her down and forced her to repeat what happened the night before? Her spark beat heavily in her chest as she panicked. She had to get out of there!

When she started to move the servo on her side clamped down on her hip and she whimpered in dread. Obviously he was already awake. And he wasn't going to let her go… "St-Starscream please…" she struggled, trying to get away from him, but she was pulled back into a firm embrace. She was held in the arms of someone much larger than the silver Seeker.

"Scourge, calm yourself." Shockwave's voice alone was enough to do just that. She sighed in relief when she heard it and she relaxed against his chest. "You are safe and in no need to be in distress." He informed her in a monotone, but something seemed different. Something about it seemed less indifferent. "Do you remember the events of the last thirteen point five hours?" he paused, awaiting her response, but at the moment she could care less about what had happened. She was more confused about what was happening _now_. "Scourge, are you unwell?"

"Yes…no? I don't know." She shifted and he released her from his hold. Turning to face him she watched him carefully as she phrased her question. He didn't look any different. He didn't seem to have changed. "What happened?"

He nodded to himself as if he had been expecting her to ask that. "In the late evening you were confronted by Starscream. He harmed you and left. I came into your quarters upon seeing that he had exited them, and I found you fatally harming yourself. You were in distress and begged that I protect you from Starscream." He paused, sitting up and rolling his shoulders back absentmindedly. "I am not surprised that you have no recollection of the event. You were upset and probably locked the memory away to cope with it."

She took that knowledge in silently, nodding that she heard him. She sat up as well, letting the blanket drop away from her frame, and she saw the thick patch restraining her wrist. It was sickening to think that Shockwave had once again saved her from herself. He had even stayed with her through the night, probably to make sure she didn't do it again. Or maybe it was something else? Predaking had said that Shockwave had missed her when she was lost on Cybertron. He said that the mech did have feelings towards her. Was that true? She was afraid to believe it for even a moment.

"Shockwave, why did you stay with me?"

Silence enveloped them again and Shockwave looked away from her to the wall. He was inspecting the datapads that she had hung featuring pictures of her and Knock Out, but she could tell that he was thinking. "It was the..logical thing to do. You were in distress. It would not have been safe to leave you alone."

Scourge studied him for a minute, debating if she had really heard him pause. _Is he unsure why he stayed? Is he confused? Could he really be feeling emotions for me?_ She tried to keep down her excitement, but she couldn't help but smile in hope. Maybe, just maybe, things could be turning in her favor? "Well, thanks…" she bit her lip to keep her thoughts down to earth. She couldn't jump to any conclusions. She couldn't have her spark broken by him, not again.

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Shockwave looked down at the floor, his processor working double-time. He had stalled before completing his answer to her. He was never unsure of his answers. He thought them through until he was sure they were the logical and truthful thing to say. So why then did he hesitate to tell her that it was just logical? _Because it wasn't just logical_… something spoke up from within him, making his spark beat irregularly. _You wanted to stay with her_.

It was true. After she had fallen into recharge he had a long debate about why he should leave. The logical part of him said that his work there was done and that if anything he could return in the morning to check on her, while the other newer side that had popped up said that he should stay with her until he was absolutely sure that she would be alright. He had considered every option available. He could have left her. He could have taken her to his laboratory. He could have informed Knock Out to her condition and request that he keep an optic on her. But he let the inner voice win and he stayed with her throughout the night.

Of course, during the night he hadn't slept at all. Every moment that passed he had tried to convince himself that it was pointless and illogical to stay. If Megatron discovered his absence from the laboratory he could bring unnecessary malady on the both of them. But still, he stayed. Every time she moved in her sleep, every twitch and shift, he watched her carefully. Like a silent guardian he kept a vigilant optic on her, watching for something, _anything_, that could be wrong. But she had slept soundly, and now he was left with the decisions of what to do next. Should he say something else to her?

Deciding that he had had enough of her illogical influence he stood up and started for the door. "I am returning to my laboratory now." He informed her, but something kept holding him back. It was like an itch in his spark. He didn't _want_ to leave yet. But there was nothing to keep him there. Starscream was not there. He didn't suppose the mech would return for some time. Scourge was not in danger: he had checked the room for anything that could be used to harm her, and he still had the knife provided to her hooked to his tool belt. There was nothing else for him to do. Nothing that obligated him to remain with her any longer…

"Can I come with you?" Scourge jumped up to join him on the floor, her previous seriousness somehow forgotten. When he assessed her she looked to be in a cheerful mood, not at all like she had nearly fatally harmed herself the previous night. She looked…anxious, and happy. He shook his helm at her, noting once again that she was a strange femme. But suddenly her expression fell and he realized that by all indications he had just denied her request to join him. "I-I can be your assistant!" She insisted, unaware of his accidental refusal to her accompanying him.

"I already offered you that post, and you refused. I have since then been assigned Knock Out as my assistant…" He watched as she looked down at the floor dejectedly, and he quickly spoke up again. "I did not mean to give you the impression that you were not wanted. You are welcome to join me if you wish."

Scourge looked up at him again, her optics brightening. "I-I won't distract you or anything?"

He considered it for a moment, and then he shook his helm. "No more than you have before. I might even be more focused with you in my sight."

"Why's that?"

Shockwave was quiet for a moment as he plotted out what he should do next. He was determined not to make the same mistakes he had made on Cybertron. He wanted to correct his faults, even if it meant having to change his outlook on borderline logic. As someone closely related to him had once said: logic isn't just black and white, there is a very large grey area there too. The saying had come from his Carrier and when he thought about it, he realized that maybe he had been wrong for ignoring it all those stellar cycles. It could have helped him in Scourge's case. But he hadn't heeded the wisdom, and now here he was, given another chance to make things right.

_There is a grey area_… he figured it couldn't be that hard to show a little emotion and still be logical about it. He had done it by accident on some occasions before. _What is something Scourge does when she wishes to be comforted or reassured?_ He remembered several instances where she would hug him in times of strong emotion. It was a confusing act, made when she was happy and when she was sad, but it was simplistic. Maybe he could start with something small like that…

"Scourge…" he started, lowering his voice to sound less harsh. He felt silly even trying to make any connection with her, but he tried to look at it as an experiment. If things became worse between them he could back out, and if things worked better he would have to adjust. But a small part of him still said that if he simply separated himself from her his problems would be solved. That still left Scourge alone to defend herself, and he had sworn to protect her until it was no longer necessary. It was a promise he had made to her on Cybertron, and he intended to keep it. "I once said that I would protect and take care of you...And last night you requested that I continue doing just that." He took a deep breath to steady himself as he reached out and grasped her shoulders. Even contact as little as that, initiated by him it felt strange. And by judging from her expression she wasn't sure what to make of it either…

Shockwave sighed sharply, tapping his forefinger on her armor as he mentally tried to work out what to do. _Why is it so difficult? It is simply placing my arms around her. She does it to me all the time… Maybe I shouldn't have started this_… He looked down at her and saw that she was waiting for him to continue, expectantly. He realized that he didn't finish his statement and that he was taking a while to make up his mind. _What did I get myself into?_

"Scourge…" he started again, moving his servos slowly down her arms a bit. Then he released her and stepped forward until he could reach around her, but there he paused. _What am I doing?_ As if she were explosive glass, he slowly and unsurely brought his arms around her. She stilled as he touched her middle back but she didn't object, or say anything for that matter, as he moved closer to her and pulled her awkwardly against his chest. It was possibly the choppiest and most inexperienced thing he had ever done. "I will do everything in my power to take care of you and to make sure no harm comes to you. This I promise you."

She stilled when he went silent, and he wondered if he said something to upset her. _Scrap, I did something wrong…_ she wasn't reacting. She always reacted to _everything_! Why wasn't she doing anything?

"Is that the…logical thing to do? Or…what?"

Shockwave processed the question with much vigor, determined not to say the wrong thing. Since he had given her his word it was logical to keep his promise. But he hadn't said those things for the purpose of logic. He did it because he _wanted_ to. He _wanted_ to make up for his mistakes. He _wanted_ to protect her from Starscream. He _wanted_ to ensure her safety, and the only way to do that was to do it himself. He had appointed himself as her guardian because he _wanted to_.

But he couldn't tell her that. He knew it would rally false hopes in her mind, if he hadn't already. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again…

"I think it is best if I do not answer that query."

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**This is like a milestone for Shockwave I think. ;) **

**Leave a Review and have an awesome weekend! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey! Got another chapter for you all! :) thanks for all the support and kind words, they make me very happy. :)**

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After things were settled Shockwave found his situation to be much more tolerable. In fact, it almost felt like he was getting back into his preferred routine. Having Scourge back in his laboratory felt right. She filled a gap that he had been trying to ignore in his conscious mind. With her wandering around his work space he felt comfortable to simply let himself work. He wasn't worried about her anymore. She was safe here with himself and Predaking. Her emotional needs were tended to by Knock Out and she was slowly becoming a happier and more stable femme.

He had monitored her carefully for the first week, but after a while she seemed to be in no danger of herself. Starscream did not bother her, but she did not return to her quarters. That was fine with him. As far as he was concerned she could live in the laboratory if that meant she would be safe. He had made her a promise to protect her, and her being in constant sight made it much easier to keep his word. And he would only admit it to himself, but he enjoyed having her there.

Scourge refilled her role as his vocal clock like back on Cybertron. She didn't let him go longer than what was normal without recharging and she brought him energon rations regularly. This helpful antic of hers kept him focused and thinking clearly. But, unlike his time on Cybertron, he now vocalized his thanks for her care. As a continuation of his experiment he attempted emotional responses to her presence, but it was growing harder and harder to think of things. He was simply glad that he hadn't had a physical confrontation with her since his, as Scourge had nicely put it, _'clumsy bear hug'_. He could only force himself to do so much.

Also, since he and Scourge had been getting along better, Predaking had been more actively helpful to him. It seemed that his creation had been waiting for something like this to happen, and was pleased that it had finally come about. He dreaded the day when he would end his experiment with Scourge. He wasn't sure how Predaking would take his withdrawal of emotional action. He could only guess that it wouldn't end well.

Shockwave mentally berated himself for not taking all factors into consideration when he had started this experiment with Scourge. But he figured that it had been necessary at the time, and therefore logical… Right?

Shockwave filed those thoughts away for another time, instead focusing on the problem at hand. The problem being: there was a chemical imbalance in the specimen he was monitoring. It wasn't too major, but it could cause problems later if it was not fixed. The one thing he couldn't figure out was how it had come to be. He had been in the lab for a long time, only leaving once the night before because Scourge insisted that he get some fresh air and some time away from his work. He had left only to humor her and because Knock Out had already suggested the same earlier that day. But he had only been gone momentarily and when he returned he found the problem. It was almost as if…

"Hey Shockwave, you're going to poke holes through that poor counter if you don't ease up." Scourge laughed, coming up beside him. When he felt her servos on one of his own he was instantly made aware of the harm he was inflicting on his equipment, and he returned his servos to his sides. Her smile faded slightly when he turned away to continue his work, but he saw that she just rolled her optics and followed behind him. "So, what are you doing now?"

"I am attempting to remedy a chemical imbalance-"

"Is something wrong with the Predacon?" She instantly demanded, her voice heavy with what he had filed as negative emotions.

"No, it is not the embryo that has been compromised." He assured her, grabbing a syringe and filling it with a chemical to counteract the ill effects. "It is the chamber that the embryo was supposed to be transferred to. It looks as if someone has…tampered with it."

"Well, who would want to do that?"

Shockwave glanced over his shoulder at Scourge as she reached up and placed her servo on the glass container that held the new Predacon embryo. He noticed that her optics held the same emotion that they did when she saw Predaking for the first time. She obviously cared about these creations a great deal to be so worried about just one of five. It was something he had once considered a weakness of hers. She cared about everyone. But when given time to think, he found that it was one of her greatest strengths.

"Shockwave?"

He looked away from her quickly, realizing that he had been staring. "It is possibly just a simple mistake. I do not know of anyone who would wish to hamper our efforts here." He answered her question, and he went back to work trying to stabilize the growth chamber.

"What-oh.." She followed him around the large gold-filled chamber, watching as he added the right things to correct its state. She obviously hadn't thought he was going to answer her question and was confused by his studying her. He made a mental note to be more discrete with his wandering optics. He would have to be more careful in observing her to be sure that she would not take it the wrong way.

Adding the counteractive solution, he watched through the corner of his optic as she sat down on one of the counters. He had long since given up on trying to make her see reason to stay off of them. He had explained that by sitting atop them they were made unsterile, but she always countered that he sterilized everything before using it anyways whether it was clean already or not. It was true, and it didn't bother him all that much, so he left her be. She was comfortable there, so he wouldn't force her to move.

Shockwave turned to inspect the container again, taking new readings. What he found made his spark beat with adrenaline. The cylinder growing tank was bubbling, about to explode from a chemical reaction. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. He had to find a way to fix it, but he was frozen in place, only one thought in mind.

"So what are you going to do once-" Scourge hopped off of the counter as she spoke, drawing his attention to her, but she didn't get to finish her question.

_"Scourge, get out of here!" _

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**Leave a Review! I will try to have the next chapter up by this weekend :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Yes! I got it out before the weekend was over! :) I had a little trouble with this one; Started it over twice, erased large portions of it, and really struggled with it near the end for reasons you will discover. ;) But it's done! Enjoy :)**

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_Breathe in…Breathe out… Must stay..conscious… _

Shockwave stared up at the medical ward ceiling, his chest rising and falling rapidly in his attempt to keep his body from overheating. His body ached, and he held no illusions that he was unscathed. He had stayed conscious during most of the surgical extraction as Knock Out dug through his shredded frame for shards of broken glass, but as time went on it was becoming harder to stay alert. He couldn't move more than a twitch of his servo and breathing. He tried to focus on nothing but staying alive. The pain made it harder, but not as much as a question. A question no one had answered.

Where was Scourge?

He had tried to get this question to Knock Out, but he couldn't understand what the medic was saying. His lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. After a few more attempts he realized that the reason he couldn't hear him was because his audios had been damaged. Being so close to the explosion had nearly killed him. He was sure Scourge would say he was lucky to be alive… But his luck was no comfort to him when he couldn't be sure of his companion's condition. She had been right next to him the last he saw. He had ordered her to leave, but it was too late. He hadn't caught what had been amiss soon enough to give her time to retreat. The explosion would have torn her into pieces if she didn't find cover. It was logical to assume that…well…

She had to be dead.

It was only logical. But for once he wanted to defy logic. He wanted to believe that she had made it out in time to be clear of the blast. But he had gone over it a thousand times in his mind. There was no scenario where she came out alive. And that knowledge brought him pain. The feeling was somehow much more than his bodily pain. He had been torn apart by shrapnel, but it almost felt miniscule compared to the strange but familiar pain. It was the same feeling of numbness and agony he had felt on Cybertron when he had discovered her suicide. He felt helpless to the circumstances surrounding him. He kept replaying the incident, trying to find where he had gone wrong. He finally concluded that he should have investigated the chemical imbalance better. The explosive reaction only occurred when he went to fix it. That pointed to something he should have seen to begin with.

Someone had tried to kill him. But instead of him, it was Scourge who obviously had paid with her life. And she was more than likely just a casualty. Just another soul lost. Just another wasted life. No one would miss her except maybe her brother, and Predaking. But he would feel her absence too. Perhaps even more than the others…

He had come to find her a wanted companion. And as he lay there with only his thoughts, he found that she had a special place in his life. Not even his Carrier had been successful in making him see that logic wasn't everything. Scourge had taught him a new sense of what was right verses what was logical. Sometimes the logical thing to do wasn't the right thing, and in itself that made it illogical to be logical. It was logical to be illogical…

Shockwave groaned quietly, his processor starting to ache painfully. He had thought about this issue with logic for too long. Scourge's emotional influence was simply too much for him. How could it be illogical to be logical? There mere sentence in itself was contradictory. Everything he was thinking was contradicting everything he had ever believed! It was tearing him apart on the inside. One part of him told him to be logical and adapt as he should, and another part told him that the logical thing to do would be to ignore what he was thinking. Logic was logic. It wouldn't change, and if he had been logical before he shouldn't have to change to remain logical.

I _need rest. I will ponder on this more when I am of sane mind. Perhaps I can inquire Scourge as to what-.._ He stopped his thought there, reality striking him again. Scourge was dead. It was logical. Logic was not faulted. There was no way she could have survived the brunt of that blast. He needed to accept that fact.

"Scourge is dead…" he rasped aloud, cementing it as fact to himself. _But she has survived death experiences before! _He battled himself. He twisted on the berth, trying to see where Knock Out had gone. Wasn't he supposed to be working on his vocal cords? He wanted to get out of the medical ward as soon as possible so he could get back to his work. So he could forget about Scourge…

"Shockwave, you have a visitor." Knock Out informed him, his voice like a whisper through his damaged audios. The red medic came back into his view with a smug smile, going to check something on a monitor.

"Tell Megatron.." he grimaced as energon leaked into his cooling system, choking hard to get it back out. "Tell our master that I will be back to my post as soon as I can leave the medical ward…"

To that Knock Out gave him a questioning look from across the room. "Well, I'll be sure to tell him the next I see him, but that's not who's here." He stepped aside. Standing just a few feet from where he had been before was the one person Shockwave thought to see. Once again she had proved her astounding ability to defy all logic.

"Scourge-" he rasped out her name, trying for one moment to sit up. Pain instantly flared up inside of him and he sunk back to the berth in defeat. "How-…" She had been unprotected, opened up to the full ferocity of the blast. How was she alive?

Scourge smiled, saying something quietly, too quiet for him to hear but he got the jest of it. She was teasing his shock. She turned as Knock Out told her something, and when she looked back at him her smile faded. He watched as she approached, unsure of what she would do. She had been known to react quite strangely when upset. When she stopped beside him he almost expected her to strike him, the look in her optics was similar to anger. But when she looked down to hide the tears in her optics, he figured that if she was angry it wasn't aimed at him.

"How are you..feeling?" she asked, this time loud enough to hear.

He thought about it briefly. He was still in pain, his body riddled with cut circuitry, but his spark was alleviated. "I am better. How are you still alive?" he probably should have asked if she was hurt, how she was feeling or something else of that sort, but he simply couldn't fathom how she had lived! She was right next to him…

"You..don't remember what happened?"

"If I did, I would not be asking." He pointed out, glad to have retained some of his basic logic.

Scourge stayed still for a moment, studying him. He figured she was trying to see if he was lying or not, but it seemed to be more than that. She was thinking. Maybe she was disappointed that he couldn't remember what had happened? He couldn't see why that would be the case.

"You really don't remember?" she asked again, and he replied that he didn't. And she _laughed_! He had been expecting something of the sort, but not like this. She was laughing at his lapse in memory. That was not funny at all..was it? Maybe he should spend some time trying to understand humor later when he had the chance. "Figures, the one time you do something completely illogical you don't remember it."

"I did something..illogical?"

"I'll say." She leaned against the medical berth beside his, her smile fading slightly. "You saved my life. You literally shouted for me to leave, and when I paused you shoved me down to shield me from the explosion.. You nearly sacrificed yourself to protect me. If that isn't illogical, then I don't know what is!"

"It was not illogical-"

"Shockwave, you are so-_So_ much more important than I am. Risking your life like that was definitely not necessary. You could have just let me die-"

"My life is no more important than that of the common Vehicon. And therefore, my life is not more important than your own." He objected quickly, cutting her off. He never liked how easily she could dismiss her life's worth. It was one thing about her that truly bothered him. She could poke and prod and annoy, that he could handle. He could comprehend her curious nature and her lack of self confidence, and even her want of someone to call a life companion. He understood those things, at least slightly. He couldn't however tolerate her conviction that her life was not as important as others. All lives were essentially equal. Why couldn't she understand that?

"Yeah, well you still shouldn't have risked it. _You_ could have died." She didn't sound convinced of his statement, and she was obviously brushing it off. "Why did you do it? Just speculate-" she crossed her arms, biting her lip softly. She was nervous. She was shifty and that meant he had to choose his words with care.

Of course, he couldn't remember why he had done it. He didn't even remember doing it! But he could, as she said, speculate. Knowing what he normally would do in such a situation, he would have made the logical decision. But why then would it be logical to put himself in harm's way to protect a femme that had caused him nothing but trouble since he met her? _Why does anyone do anything?_ He thought. It was a question many pondered, but he had figured out the answer a long time ago. He didn't understand it until now…until he met Scourge. _Because they care. No one does anything unless there is a level of care in what they do._ Even himself. It was why he joined the Decepticons. He believed in their mission and he cared to see it through to the end. It was an emotion that drove him to do what he did. _Care_…

"It was the logical thing to do."

"How is nearly dying logical?" She uncrossed her arms again, looking almost afraid to hear his reasoning, but wanting it all the same.

For once, he was glad that she asked. "Because I would not have been able to live with the guilt that I could have saved you and chose not to… A few injuries is a price I would willingly pay for another's life spared.. in speculation at least. Risking my life may have not been the greatest of plans, in your words very illogical, but I have come to realize that in some cases it is logical to be illogical… especially around you." He reached out and brushed his functioning two fingers over the top of her servo. "I have already lost you to death once, and I thought just now that I had again… I do not wish you dead, Scourge. You are the only one I have come to call…friend. And I do not want to lose that."

She was quiet for a second, her fingers entwining with his. She just stayed like that as the minutes dragged on, thinking. _What did I say wrong this time_? He heaved a sigh, his chest aching from the shrapnel.

The motion brought her out of her thoughts and she stepped closer to his side, leaning over him slightly to look him in the optic. "Shockwave…" she smiled softly, caressing the side of his face with her fingertips, her one servo still interlocked with his. "Thank you..." She paused in her movement, no doubt unsure of her next actions. But as she leaned closer to him he figured her motives and responded accordingly. Not logically, but the way he wanted to.

It was quite obvious that she was going to kiss his mask, she had done it before when she was thankful of something he did. The problem was: he didn't want her to kiss his mask… So, at the last possible second, he _removed_ it. Her soft lips pressed against his scarred ones, melding with his for one electrifying split-second before she pulled away. The action sent chills down his overheated body, and he almost wished she hadn't pulled away. It was no wonder why she committed such actions when she was in distress: The relief produced by the action was astounding.

_I should experiment with this. It might have therapeutic qualities_. He observed Scourge's reaction briefly, and saw that it also might cause distress. Her expression was anything but relaxed, or calm. She looked confused, lost even.

"Why did you do that?"

He was about to explain, but then realized that he had no explanation. No reasonable explanation. He had just _wanted_ to do it. Just to try it. _This femme is rubbing off on me… But maybe that is not such a bad thing. After all..it would be logical for me to be able to adapt to emotional beings…_

Knock Out came in between the two of them, whispering something that he couldn't make out. But that didn't matter. What did matter was that it felt like a battle just to keep his optics online.. maybe he should consider powering down..just for a little while…

"-But-" Scourge objected, but she was silenced by her brother.

"I've already injected a sedative into his energon line. He needs to rest now, Scourge.."

_He injected something in me? The bastard…Whatever it is I should ask him for some later..this is great stuff_… "Scourge…" all optics turned to him and his lips pulled into a thin smile as his helm lolled to the side. "You really are a wonderful femme… I feel bad that I don't feel..like you.. you deserve better…" he glanced up at her and her brother, suddenly seeing double of them. "Scrap, you're _multiplying_ Scourge! How am I supposed to deal with _two_ of you?" he let his optic close finally, overwhelmed. "Primus have mercy on me…"

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**Poor Shockwave..drugged and talking silly.. question is, was he drugged before or after he kissed Scourge? hmm? Was he in his right mind or will he tell her later that it was an effect of the medication? hmm...suspense ;)**

**Leave a Review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I would like to give a special thanks to zrexheartz for suggesting this! This chapter wouldn't have been very good without the idea she gave me. So thank you so much! :)**

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Knock Out was monitoring Shockwave's vitals after administering the sedative when it happened. One moment the patient and Scourge were just talking. He wasn't really paying attention, until she _kissed_ him! Right on the _mouth_!

_What the scrap!?_ He glared at the mech, but was ignored by the two of them. Scourge seemed to be in just as much shock as he was. Her optics were wide, and bright, and her servos were shaking. She looked like she had just witnessed something unbelievable, as human's said, pigs flying. Some line had just been crossed. Something had changed, and he could tell that it wasn't her who had started it.

"Scourge…" he pulled her away from Shockwave's side, placing himself between them. "You should go."

"-But-" she tried to object, but he raised a servo to stop her. He wasn't in the mood to debate.

"I've already injected a sedative into his energon line. He needs to rest now, Scourge… And we need to talk." Honestly, he wanted to give Shockwave a good punch to the face, but as a doctor it was against his oaths to harm a patient, unless otherwise instructed to of course. Even if it sounded really nice at the moment, he knew it would bite him in the tailpipe eventually if he did.

"Scourge…"

He continued to glare down at the purplish-red mech, going through different ways he wished he could dismantle him in his mind. He had kissed his sister! The one living relative that he had held onto since the war started. Even if she was only his half sister, they shared the same Sire and that made them family. Broken, and slightly distant, but family all the same. And he would take care of her as long as he was able to.

Glancing from Scourge back to Shockwave, he noticed something. Scourge wasn't angry… in fact she seemed alleviated. Happy even. Something wasn't right. He was missing something very important. Shockwave was emotionless and cold-sparked. Yet there was care and love in Scourge's optics. Why would she be _fond_ of him? They weren't anything more that companions, right?

"You really are a wonderful femme…" Shockwave rasped half consciously. The drugs were obviously taking affect fast. "I feel bad that I don't feel..like you.. you deserve better…"

Knock Out stilled, his jaw dropping. He didn't hear what the mech said next, but he did register that it made Scourge laugh quietly. _No… it can't be…_ He looked from his sister to the now unconscious Shockwave, and then back at her. She had once said that she had fallen in love with someone that would never feel the same way about her. Could she have meant _literally_? As in, he couldn't _feel_?

_Scourge…are you insane?_ He didn't know if he should be worried or disgusted in her choice of a mech. He knew that she and him had lived together on Cybertron for a long time, with only each other for company, but she couldn't have actually fallen in _love_ with him! The mech never did anything illogical, and he didn't have to point out that she had some major illogical issues.

Scourge smiled briefly, still looking confused.

"Sis?" he raised an optic ridge at her in question when she reached up and brushed her fingers over her lips. She was stunned, and happy about it.

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"Okay, start talking."

Scourge watched her thoroughly pissed off brother cross his arms over his chest, and she looked down at the floor. In retrospect, she should have told him about her whole issue with Shockwave to begin with. It would have made things a lot easier and simpler to explain. But now it was almost weird to say out loud to him.

"Well…I guess the feline is out of its encasement…" she sighed, collecting herself slowly. "It all started when I met him on Cybertron-"

Knock Out rolled his optics, waving of the beginning of her story. "Yeah-yeah-yeah, fast forward to the part where Shockwave _brainwashed_ you!" He looked at a loss for words, but he still rambled on. Scourge off-handedly thought if this was what Shockwave felt like when she was running her mouth. "I mean, how in Pit could you have developed feelings for an emotionless mech? You. My _sister_. My very _emotionally_ influenced sister who can't go a week without crying her optics out! How could _you_.. have fallen in _love_.. with _Shockwave_?! You need a mech who will take care of you and understand you and complete you! Not some tin can that spits random factoids."

"My options were limited." She tried to laugh off the seriousness in his voice, but he wasn't having it. He wanted a real reason for her constant torture. The only thing was, he didn't know that it was torture.. or at least, not the full extent of it. "I was alone, wandering around Cybertron when I met him. I was about to go crazy from loneliness when he took me in. It was like the answers to my prayers… At first we were just friends..actually that might even be a stretch. But after a while I started getting attached to him. For the longest time I didn't know why I felt like I did, but I think I've finally figured out a…" she almost scoffed, "a _logical_ reasoning behind it."

"I'm all audios."

Scourge sighed again. "You said it yourself. I need someone who completes me. And he does."

Knock Out looked just about ready to glitch. "_What_?"

_Man, I wish Shockwave was awake right now to hear this. 'Cuz I'm only going to say it once._ "It's logical for me to be with someone who is steadfast and not inclined to be emotionally unstable. I'm a whack and a total freak, riddled with emotional outbursts." She illustrated her explosive behavior with servo motions, moving them around frantically. Then she slowed them down and moved them in a straight line to more explain Shockwave. "Shockwave completes me because he can take a situation and not freak out about it. He takes things one step at a time and doesn't get worried over everything. He plots everything out logically and does his best not to make mistakes… He is..my other half, whether he realizes it or not." She glanced sideways at the recharging mech, watching as his chest rose and fell with his breathing. Her spark fluttered sadly at the sight of his marred armor and torn protoform. She hoped that he wasn't in too much pain. "He's also the only one who has ever cared about me. And…I don't care what you think. I love him, even if it kills me every day to do so."

"Why don't you just forget about him and find someone else?" Knock Out insisted, obviously not happy about her choice. "Anyone would be a better mech for you than him!" He held her by her shoulders and shook her firmly. "Scourge. The mech is nothing but an empty shell. He's no good for you!" She looked down at her feet and shook her helm sadly. He just didn't get it. And she didn't expect him ever to understand. "Why do you even try?"

She sighed, locking optics with her brother. "Because I love him. And I have hope that someday he could feel something back…" she turned away from her brother, taking one last glance at Shockwave before she left the room. Her fingers absently drifted up to her lips again, and she smiled. He kissed her. That was enough proof to keep her hopes up. It might have just been the drugs, but she didn't care. _He_ had kissed _her_. _He_ had initiated it. And if that meant nothing to him when he woke up… well… she would deal with that when the moment came. Right now, she was going to go back to her quarters and let loose a scream of excitement. The illogical need to express herself in loud screeching and jumping around had been held in long enough…

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**Yeah, I know-I know, I'll get to the Shockwave\Scourge confrontation in the next chapter ;) but until then..**

**Leave a Review and have an awesome Summer! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! So guess what? This story only has..*mumbles off numbers in background*.. Four chapters left! yeah.. we're coming to the close of this little story here.. thanks to all of my readers\reviewers\followers\and favoriters ;) It's been awesome writing for you all. :)**

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Nothing much had changed since he had been hospitalized. When he emerged from the medical bay's doors, Shockwave looked down one hall and then down the other before choosing the quickest path back to his laboratory. Although his experiments had been damaged, he had been informed that three of the five embryos had survived and that they had been transferred into a safe environment while the room was being restored. Other than that, it seemed as if life had continued as normal. He saw Vehicons passing by as they normally did, going about their jobs with no other purpose.

Yes, it seemed that nothing had changed. No one was directly affected by his absence. And although it seemed strange, it bothered him. Other than Megatron and Scourge (And Predaking), no one had acknowledged that he had ever been injured. In this revelation, he pondered as to why that was. It never really occurred to him how his life affected others, and when he thought about it, he realized that if he had died it would not have affected anybody. He had no relatives. No companions close enough to mourn his passing. No one depended on him. If he had been terminated, life would have gone on with no one to care that he had passed.

Normally, that wouldn't have bothered him as it did. But, being on strong pain killers made him actually think that it was something to be bothered about. For a few hours he actually regretted never making any connections with anyone. And when he came to his senses that made him feel even worse. He should never have been considering these things to begin with! It had never even been a concern to him before, why was it now?

_It is a concern because you are striving to understand emotions and relationships. That's why._ He told himself, reasoning his thoughts once again. Since his incident with Scourge nearly three weeks before, he had been considering his options on how he should proceed with his experiment with emotions. In retrospect, he shouldn't have kissed her. But he placed the responsibility of that action on the drugs that Knock Out had snuck into his systems. _Still… it was.. enjoyable._

He stretched his shoulder struts as he walked, his strides quickening as he neared his rebuilt laboratory. He was anxious to get back to work and put his thoughts to rest for a few moments before Scourge showed up, as she undoubtedly would. Knock Out had said that she asked about him almost on a daily basis. If she received word that he was out of the medical ward she was sure to search for him to put her worries to rest. Not that she should have any. Her brother was an excellent medic. She should not have any doubt about his capabilities, but nevertheless Knock Out said that she was worried about him.

The idea was almost humorous. During his time in rehabilitation he had time to read up on the concept of humor. It was strange and he still did not completely understand it. But he had enough knowledge to comprehend what was supposed to be funny and what was not. Someone believing someone else to be in danger when they really weren't was one of those instances.

He shook himself, ridding the thought from his processor. It was not funny. Not in the slightest. She shouldn't have to feel worry when it was unwarranted, and he would put those fears to rest as soon as possible. He didn't like her to be worried. It caused him to fear for her wellbeing. As history had proven time and time again, stressful situations had a bad effect on Scourge.

The laboratory doors opened as he approached them, and he stepped inside to take a look around. Everything was relatively as it had been before. Some of his tools were in places he would not have put them, but he couldn't expect Vehicons to remember his order to everything. After checking up on the surviving embryos he decided to rearrange things into the way he would have ordered them before he did anything with the project.

He started ordering his tools from left to right, hanging them up on the wall so that they weren't in the way. Some tools he found were not properly cleaned, and he remedied that too. He worked on sterilizing them and putting them in their rightful places, and continued the process for some time before he noticed that something was wrong.

One of his scalpels was missing.

At first, he tried to write it off as missing or destroyed in the explosion. But as time continued, another thought came to mind.

_Scourge. _

His spark jumped and hammered hard in his chest. Trying to think logically about the situation, he searched the walls of instruments to see if there had simply been a misplacement of it, but the quest was fruitless. He was missing a knife… and Scourge was not there.

It was easy to put two and two together.

_No..no-no-no! Scourge.._ He stopped all work that he had been doing and grabbed a patch kit. He had to find her quickly. If she had (again) attempted to harm herself, he didn't know what he would do. And he _always_ knew what he would do. He always did what was logical. But if that was so he should have sought her out directly after leaving the medical ward! He knew that she was mentally afflicted. He should have known to seek her out instead of wait for her to come. What if he was too late? What if she-

The door in front of him slid open and he was brought to an abrupt halt. Scourge smiled up at him as she entered the room, walking around him to put some things down on the operation table. He made a quick evaluation of her condition and her possessions and came to the conclusion that she was alright. But that only pointed to another conclusion. He had just acted irrationally. He had assumed that she was going to harm herself without any real proof to support the assumption. And he had panicked.

"Hey Shockwave." She moved around him again to the sanitizing station to clean the blade he had been missing, and she put away some patches. "Look, you don't have to worry about Predaking, I took care of him. So, you can put that stuff away."

"Predaking?" He shook his helm lightly, trying to clear his mind.

"Yeah, some idiot thought it a good idea to grab his tail. He whipped around and accidentally bit himself trying to catch the guy who did it." She laughed, attaching the scalpel on the wall next to the others. "He actually broke off one of his fangs, so I had to get it out…" She stilled suddenly, probably becoming aware of his silence. "So…" she clasped her servos behind her back. "How are you..recovering?"

"I am well." He answered quickly, coming closer and circling around her to better inspect her. "What about you? Are you..whole?"

"Yeah…" she started to look at him skeptically, quirking one of her optic ridges at him. She obviously knew that she was under scrutiny. "Why?"

"Hm." He didn't answer right away, instead trying to convey what he was thinking through his actions. He took her wrists in his servos and turned them over so he could see her scarred energon veins. Her breath caught, and he was sure that his point was made. But he didn't release her. They stood in silence, and he didn't want to break it.

He felt her shiver as his thumbs brushed over her scars, and he stroked them again. Her optics fluttered shut at the touch. "I promised I would take care of you Scourge… I just want to know that you have not done anything while I was unable to aid you."

"I-I'm fine…"

Finally releasing her, he tilted her chin so she would look up at him. "Something in your tone says otherwise. All is not right with you. Tell me what is wrong."

She sighed, turning away from him as her cheeks blushed. He didn't even try to figure out what kind of emotion she was feeling, he doubted he'd get it right anyway. "Shockwave… I don't think you remember, but when I came to visit you in the medical ward-"

"I kissed you." He finished for her, watching her shocked expression. "Yes, I do remember doing it. And yes, it _was_ a conscious decision." He moved past her to finish his work with his tools, cleaning and arranging them slowly, waiting for her to peruse the matter. She was obviously upset by the action he had committed, and he would let her berate him for doing so.

However, he hadn't expected her next words to sound so feeble. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I was conducting an experiment."

At that, Scourge rolled her optics with a huff. "_Of course_ you were! Why else would you do anything?" she sighed, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed in what he guessed was disappointment, and perhaps even anger. "And what did you learn from this _experiment_?" she seethed.

_Truth be told? Very little._ "My data was insufficient."

"Well, would you like to collect more _data_?" She said it in an attempt at mockery, but he decided to look past that and provide his true answer.

"Yes."

Her optics widened. "_Yes?_"

"Yes." He observed her movements with care, hoping that he hadn't set her off into a yelling fit. "If you would be willing to partner with me in this experiment, I do wish to further my research."

"Uh…o-okay." She was quiet. Perhaps she was scared? He had brought this up rather suddenly with her. Maybe he should have given her some time to think about it? That way she had no regrets about what she would do. But her actions before this had indicated that she did not mind such contact. Why would that change now when he wanted to initiate it? Was she having second thoughts about herself? It wouldn't surprise him if she realized her faults. If she finally let go of her illogical, emotional state he would welcome her to the world of the sane minded. But he doubted that was going to ever be the case. She was set in her ways with no wish to change.

"How do you wish to start this?"

Pent up breath left her chest and she rolled her optics at him again. "Wow, you're a total romantic aren't you…" she mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he had heard her perfectly, but he wanted to make sure that he had. Her statement was not logical, and he was pretty sure that she meant it to be that way.

"Nothing." She fibbed, not looking at him. Shockwave watched her behavior with interest, documenting every aspect of it. She said something that was meant to be spiteful, and then denied that she said it, but she looked embarrassed. _Strange femme… you are a mystery to be sure_. He took a small step towards her and cocked his helm at her curiously. She was smiling despite bowing her helm in an ashamed fashion. "Well?"

He stilled at her demanding tone. "Well, what?"

She huffed, stepping up so that she was right in front of him. "Are we doing this or what?"

He waited for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. The test of this experiment was clear enough to him, but he didn't know how he could complete it. He didn't know anything about this matter because he had never cared to acknowledge it before now. And now that he had… He almost wished that he hadn't. He was never comfortable with uncertainty. "Perhaps since you are more knowledgeable in this field of expertise you should tell me how to proceed."

"Oh goodness, just kiss me already!" she (_again_) rolled her optics in exasperation.

"You wish for me to initiate-"

"Yes! It's _your_ experiment…"

"Alright… that seems reasonable." He took his time with continuing. Should he hold her? He had seen that done on many occasions back on Cybertron. Or should he simply let their lips touch? He had seen that often as well. It seemed that there were many different ways to go about this course of action, and he was clueless to which one would best fit this situation.

When he came to the conclusion to adjust as she did, he retracted his mask. Scourge instantly stilled, and he could see her mapping out his scarred face with her gaze. Why she ever found him attractive was beyond him. He did not meet any of the usual standards. But then again, maybe it didn't really matter.

When it came to actions with no actual purpose, Shockwave was never a believer in the saying "Past the point of no return". No matter what the situation might have been, there always was a way to turn away from it. But the actions taken had consequences. And as he leaned forward, all of those consequences ran through his mind and he truly believed that he was past the point of no return. He stalled only one moment as their lips were about to meet, but the warmth of her frame so close to his calmed his raging thoughts and he pressed his tightlipped mouth against her softer, more welcoming lips.

It was then that the full extent of his inadequate knowledge hit him. He had no _clue_ what he was doing. Where she was gentle and accepting, he felt stiff and unwilling. He tried to compensate for that but he couldn't help but feel that he was doing everything just _so wrong_. He felt that his servos should be doing something, but he didn't know what to do with them! It wasn't until she responded to the kiss that he felt a little at ease. Her lips pressed into his tenderly and she placed her small servos on his chest, running them up and over his shoulders to wrap her arms around his neck. He noted that when her lips moved they opened slightly to encompass a small portion of his bottom lip. He wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to duplicate the action or not.

"Shockwave, if you're going to do this, loosen up for Primus' sake. You are way too stiff." She shifted her body to come closer to him, and he felt her press up against him. Accepting that in this case she wanted closeness, he tentatively held her by her hips. He was more anchoring her where she already was than pulling her closer. He didn't think it would be a good idea for her to get any closer than she already was. "Mm, that's a bit better." She murmured. Her servos trailed lightly from the base of his neck up to the back of his helm, and she stroked her fingers along some sensitive sensory nerves by his audios. He grunted in slight protest to the sensations that the action caused, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he tried to focus his attention on duplicating the actions of her lips. He parted his lips in an attempt to get some air, but found that the action actually improved their shared contact.

Attempting to copy her earlier actions he closed his lips around her top lip. Her reaction took him by surprise. She _moaned_. Softly and quietly. The sound was not of pain, but _pleasure_.

At that conclusion, he stepped back to give her some room. "I believe that I have enough data now." She looked up at him in confusion for a second before she regained her thoughts. He could tell she was disappointed that he had broken off their encounter, but she wasn't going to say anything about it.

"Well, what have you found out from your…experiment?" she was out of breath. For a moment he was concerned that he may have harmed her in some way but then she smiled up at him, obviously pleased.

"I..never thought it possible that I would actually be able to..please you…" It was one of the many reasons why he didn't approve of her feelings towards him. Even if he faked having emotional attachment to her, he would never be good enough for her. She deserved someone who understood her and would complete her. Someone she could go to when she was sad who would be able to comfort her. She deserved someone she could love and in return be loved by. He was not that mech. He was… Different. He knew it. Everyone _knew_. But Scourge refused to accept it. "I thought it would not be fair to you if I ever _tried_ to have any sort of relationship with you. I can never be the mech that you deserve, Scourge. But through this experiment, I see now that there may yet be a solution for this predicament you find yourself in."

"Wait…you-what?" Her optics locked with his and her mouth was held agape. "What are you saying? You want to-…"

"We should get to work. The embryos need to be transferred into larger gestation chambers." He quickly moved onto another subject, walking past her to check up on the monitors. "They were supposed to be moved in three more days, but I believe they are ready now."

"Uh..okay." Scourge smiled, her mood obviously lightened. "What do you want me to do?"

Shockwave paused, glancing at her from over his shoulder. _Just stay here and keep me company…_ "You can wash out the new chambers."

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**Yeah..I know what you were thinking about half way through this chapter _(Come on Scourge, again?!)_ but I was being tricky ;) did I fool you for a while there? Did you like Shockwave and Scourge's "first" kiss? **

**Leave a Review and have a great weekend! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! Here's another chapter for you. :) Rated T right about near the end for some stuff... :\**

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Scourge was smiling from audio to audio as she skipped excitedly down the halls of the Nemesis. She couldn't help it, she was just so happy! Shockwave had kissed her! On _purpose_! And he did it _again_! Granted, it had to have been the _worst_ kiss she had ever had (and that was saying something). But coming from him, it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

She hummed as she passed some of the Vehicon ranks, and they just passed her as if she were invisible. But that was fine with her, she hardly saw them anyway. She was too lost in her own thoughts to even register where she was going. She just trusted her feet to know where to go. _What if he actually is trying to feel something for me?_ Her spark thumped heavily in her chest at the thought. She wanted for it to be true. But she didn't think too much on it, not wanting to convince herself otherwise. She wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted. She felt so at peace with herself that she might even be able to sleep instead of staring at the ceiling and reciting all of the things that were wrong with her.

Looking up from the ground at the sound of heavy footsteps, she barely caught herself from running right into Megatron himself. He glared down at her with hate filled red optics, but she didn't even flinch. She dodged around him with a slight bow of her helm. "Good evening lord Megatron." She said with a small smile, almost giggling when he was confused at her cheerfulness. Usually she feared him and cowered away when he approached. No doubt her behavior was unusual to him.

She continued down the hall to the central elevator, hoping to get to her berthroom before the shift changed so she could avoid the crowds. She was uncomfortable with large crowds. She had once expressed this to Shockwave and he had said that it was because of the unpredictability of the people around her. The more beings around her increased her chances of something happening to her. That was why she was more comfortable alone. She had then explained that she didn't like being alone either. At that, he had no further comments.

She didn't like being alone because bad things always happened to her when she was by herself…

Like she was now…

"Scourge, how lovely it is to see you…" The voice of Starscream sent chills down her back. Not the good kind that Shockwave gave her, but the feeling of dread and fear that gripped at her spark like an iron fist. She turned to look at where he was leaning against the wall, a smug smirk on his face. His red optics were bright with his usual malice. "And so happy? My-my.. I didn't think that you could ever be so flustered…" he pushed himself off the wall and started towards her. She backed away from him until he cornered her against a wall. "Was that sucky kiss really that satisfying?"

She gulped, trying to control her breathing. This only made the Seeker laugh.

"You know, he doesn't really care about you. You know as well as I do that he only does what is logical. Why do you torture yourself, or even bother yourself with the likes of him? He will never actually _care_ about you. Why don't you just save yourself the drama and give up on him? Be with someone more willing to be with you."

"Oh, like you Starscream?"

"Well…that is the general idea." He trailed his servo up her thigh and over her hip, gliding the greedy caress up to her face. She batted him away with a glare.

"I'd rather be ignored by Shockwave forever and have my feelings never returned then be with you." She spat, finally taking a stand for herself. She had had enough of his scrap, and she was tired of him always bothering her. "Leave me alone Starscream."

His optics widened in shock at her tone and he moved back slightly. Then he growled and shoved her against the wall, hard. "I am ten times the mech Shockwave ever will be!"

"You must be ten times to the negative power then. You could never be better than him." she mentally congratulated herself on the comeback. Normally she never would have been able to come up with something like that until the argument was over. Her words seemed to surprise him as well. "You're just upset that I would rather be with your _rival_ than with you." She pushed past him, and started back down the hall the way she had been originally been going. She hoped against hope that Starscream would give up and leave, but his angered snarl told her otherwise.

"You glitch!" she turned at the insult then gasped in pain when he backhanded her across the face. The blow sent her into the wall, and she crumpled to the floor in a dazed heap. "I was trying to do you a favor! You are nothing! Do you hear me? _Nothing_. You are a worthless piece of scrap. Waste of time. A waste of a life! You should never have been born. Everyone you know would be better off without you. Your brother wouldn't have to look after you. Shockwave wouldn't have to deal with your emotional scrap. Everyone would be better off if you were just dead!" He grasped her by the wrist and drug her to her feet, pinning her against the wall. "No mech will ever truly want you. You'd be lucky to become a whore. I stand here, giving you the option of a companion, and you reject me! You are an idiot. A fool! You are clumsy, clingy and emotional. You are everything that everyone hates and despises. You are not worth anything! And you will never belong with the rest of us. You will never fit in. You will never be normal."

Starscream leaned in closer to her, locking his gaze with hers. "No one will ever love you. No one will care if you die. No one would even miss you. And no one cares what happens to you." With that said his grip around her wrists tightened and he dragged her away from the wall, opening a storage closet door and throwing her inside. "You will not defy me any longer."

Scourge scrambled away from him as he entered the room and locked the door. She backed away until she knocked over some storage crates and fell down, and he still approached her. "Starscream, no! D-don't do this! _Please_…"

He smirked. Grasping her arm, he forced her against the wall and pressed his mouth to hers. It was crushing, suffocating. She squirmed in discomfort, but her head was spinning. "Don't worry.." he cooed, pulling away only momentarily to smile devilishly at her. "By the end of this I will have you writhing in pleasure…"

"N-no! Let me go!"

He laughed.

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**Leave a Review for poor Scourge :'(**


	16. Chapter 16

**Strongly rated T ahead! You have been somewhat warned... :'\**

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Shockwave glanced down at the bottom of the computer screen to check the time, noticing that Scourge was late. She normally came about an earth hour ago. He remembered her saying something about sleeping in before she left, but still… something was bothering him about it. She also said that she normally woke up three hours before coming in. _So, sleeping in would not make her late like this_… He took into account the crowds during the shift change and how long it would take to walk here from her berthroom, and still the numbers didn't add up.

Something was off.

Taking a lesson from his previous mistakes, he left a note in case anyone came to look for him, and then he left to go find her.

Logically, he deduced what places she was most likely to be at and he decided to start at her berthroom. She said she often never left it. It was safe to assume that if she wasn't with him she was either with her brother, in her room, or getting some energon. He quickly sent a com to Knock Out, asking if she was with him and the red mech irritably said that she wasn't. Shockwave noted the mech's underlining hostility, but set the thought away for another time. Ever since he was checked into and out of medical the doctor had been.. unfriendly towards him. He figured it must have something to do with Scourge, but he didn't see what was wrong.

"Shockwave!" He halted at the sound of Megatron's voice, turning to face his commander. The large gladiator stalked up to him slowly, his optics darting over him. He was obviously being inspected. "What are you doing outside of your laboratory?"

"I am looking for my assistant." He said truthfully, not breaking optic contact.

"Knock Out is in the medical ward."

"I am aware of that sir. I was referring to his sister, Scourge. She has been assisting me while the doctor has been busy with his more important work." Of course, he didn't mention that he had excused Knock Out of his duty as his assistant since he now had Scourge. He figured the fewer details the better.

"I see…" Megatron narrowed his optics at him critically for a moment, but the expression soon gave way to a look of indifference. "Very well then, carry on."

"Sir." He quickly interjected before the mech could dismiss him and move on. "If I may inquire.. Why do you have such dislike for Scourge?" the question must have been a surprise to the warlord, but he quickly recovered his thoughts to answer.

"She stays aboard my vessel without taking a Decepticon brand. She is a distraction to her brother. And her half brother is an _Autobot_."

"Then why do you let her stay?"

At this, he chuckled. "Well, she has her uses. As you already know, she is a good assistant to those who need her. And she _is_ a femme. That in itself makes her valuable. This war will end eventually, and when that day comes we will need femmes to help rebuild our race. It is for that reason that I let her stay… and she amuses me."

Shockwave narrowed his optic in confusion. "I was under the impression that you vehemently hated and despised every aspect about her."

He shrugged with a small smirk. "Call it an act. Despite her flaws and inability to take a side in this war, she is under my protection. I actually have hoped that she would spark-bond with a mech in our ranks. Starscream seems to have taken an interest in her, but she has yet to return his attention. It would be best for her to bond with someone soon though…" he sighed deeply, looking across the hall as Starscream strutted by. "Against what Starscream would have everyone believe, I would never abandon her or cast her out… Does that answer your inquiries?"

"Yes, I believe you have put my thoughts to rest on this matter." Shockwave nodded his thanks and then dismissed himself to continue his search. Something was nagging at the back of his mind. When he passed Starscream in the hall he looked too…pleased with himself. Granted, the mech was always pleased with himself, but this was something more. He was smirking about something in particular. Something vile.

Coming to a stop in front of the lone red door in the hall of purple and silver, he noticed that it was already cracked open. He pushed it open all the way without asking for permission, and the sight that greeted him made his spark burn.

"Commander Shockwave!" A vehicon in the room quickly acknowledged his presence, giving him a quick salute. "S-sir, I found her in a storage closet. She was bleeding and crying. I-I don't know what…" he tried to explain something, but instead moved to give him a better view of Scourge in her berth. She was shivering fitfully and crying into a blanket damp with energon. Her lips moved, forming soundless words, and her optics were clenched tightly shut. Her body was scrapped. Her lips were cut and scarred. She looked weak. Beaten. Broken…

"Scourge…" he breathed quietly, taking in the damage done to her frame slowly. His gaze lingered on the cuts on her lips, they were starting to heal but were still bleeding. "What is your designation?" he turned his attention to the vehicon and waited for his answer.

"ST3V3, sir..or Steve. I'm a friend of Scourge's."

"Very well, Steve. Return to your post. I will take care of her now." The vehicon seemed to be hesitant, but he did as he was told. When he had left, Shockwave eased himself down beside Scourge and pulled her up into his arms. She was feverish. Her spark rate was up and she was losing energon. "Scourge… what happened to you?" her only response was to curl into his chest and shudder.

* * *

"What the heck happened?!"

Shockwave understood the doctor's concern, but was helpless to provide an answer. Scourge's wounds were unexplainable. They were not fatal, not like some she had inflicted upon herself previously. And they were unusual. Like someone had…clawed her. The cuts were all over her thighs, hips, and back. The most noticeable was the long line running over her chest plates. Each was inflicted to cause pain, but not insufferable pain. It was almost like…

"Shockwave, scrap it! Answer me!" Knock Out glared at him, quickly disinfecting and patching some of Scourge's wounds. "What did you do to _my sister_?!"

"I did not do this. I would never do this." He said quietly, still not sure what or how to feel about the whole situation. He told himself that he had been through similar things with her, and this shouldn't be any different. But his spark kept humming abnormally. He could feel that not all was as it seemed. Something was really wrong. If only he could find out what…

"Well then who did?" the red mech hooked Scourge up to a stabilizer and ran some scans over her frame. From what Shockwave could see she was physically fine.

"I do not know…" he narrowed his optics on her vitals. Her spark rate was through the roof! Something must have emotionally compromised her. It was the only explanation to why she had yet to acknowledge them. From what he could tell, she was conscious but in distress. Someone did something to her to make her like this. "I would never hurt Scourge..But I am going to find out who did."

Turning away, Shockwave started back out the door. But as it slid open he was faced with one of the only mech's he truly had respect for.

Soundwave stood in the doorway, his servo raised as a motion for him to stop. The silent mech took one look around the room, and then motioned for him to follow. [Don't waste your time-Looking for-answers. I have all that you seek,-Shockwave.] He nodded towards Scourge. [She was-raped.]

* * *

Soundwave watched as the scientist and doctor both stared at him. Of course, normally he wouldn't be here unless ordered to, but it seemed that the subject had roped in his immediate attention. He had been at his station during the night shift and had been monitoring the halls when he heard someone scream. He had quickly flipped through the footage to find who it was and when he did he was disgusted. The fact that Starscream would openly violate a femme that viewed herself as belonging to another was completely below him! But there was not much he could do about it. Starscream was still his superior officer.

But, that didn't stop him from recording the incident to help others of higher rank bring the mech to justice. And that was exactly what he planned to show Shockwave.

* * *

Shockwave watched as a video recording was pulled up on the medical computer. It showed nothing but an empty storage closet at first, and the view flickered steadily. "It is security footage." Soundwave nodded at his observation, fast-forwarding until light shone into the room and a small figure was thrown inside. It was Scourge.. She was speaking, but he could not hear her. "Can you play the audio?" the silent mech nodded again and turned it up, just in time for Starscream to enter the picture.

Scourge fell over some crates and was trapped between the silver Seeker and a wall. _"Starscream, no! D-don't do this! Please…"_ She was pulled to her feet and pinned up against the wall. Shockwave froze as Starscream forcibly kissed her, running his servos over her body.

_"Don't worry.."_ The Seeker's silky voice entered the room, but it was anything but comforting. It was evil. _"By the end of this I will have you writhing in pleasure…"_

_"N-no! Let me go!" _

He laughed.

Shockwave felt his frame tense as he watched Starscream caress her thighs and then forcibly part them. He was forcing himself upon Scourge, and judging by the tears streaming down her face as he did she didn't want it. But she was helpless to stop it. She struggled against the mech, but he raked his claws over her and she stopped at the sudden pain. She cried out for help repeatedly, screaming at the top of her lungs until Starscream covered her mouth with his own.

She was helpless, and tears never ceased. She whimpered and begged quietly to be released, but was ignored as the Seeker violating her began to over charge. And though she tried to fight it, she made soft noises of pleasure as he abused her. At one moment, she closed her optics and moaned. _"Shockwave…"_

This seemed to anger her assailant, and he dug his fingers into her hips until she cried out for mercy again. _"You are..pathetic!"_ he spat in her audios as he turned her to face the wall before continuing. _"That mech is an idiot! If he was smarter he would have realized that the energon chamber was rigged to blow…" _

_"W-what?"_ she whimpered meekly as he thrust against her.

_"_I_ sabotaged his little experiment. If he wasn't so scrapping lucky all the time he would be dead too!" _He sneered angrily, scraping her unarmored protoform. She cried out in pain and he laughed. _"But if you are so insistent that he is better than me, why don't you make him prove it? Call out for him to save you! See if he comes.."_

_"Shockwave!"_ Scourge was begging, pleading to be released. But as she started to climax her words were drowned out with the sounds of her growing ecstasy. Her optics were burning bright white in pleasure, and she panted to keep cool. Shockwave watched this numbly. He could see that she was enjoying the contact, but she was still in distress. Slowly, as he watched the rest unfold, his spark began to burn with anger. It was unbridled, and raw. And it was eating him from the inside out.

Starscream had _dared_ to defile the femme he had sworn to protect. He had _dared_ to touch her without her consent. He had _dared_ to challenge him. And by Primus' undying spark, he was going to meet that challenge. He hadn't been there to protect or save her, but he was damn well going to avenge what had been done to her. Starscream had unleashed a beast inside of him that he had never known existed…

_"Soundwave…"_ Scourge lay broken, beaten, and alone on the storage room floor now. Starscream was gone from the picture, but the results of his actions remained. _"Please, if you see this… please tell Shockwave what happened… please…"_ It was then that she collapsed and lost herself to her cries. Her energon pooled around her from her cuts, and the essence of the Seeker stained her thighs.

When the clip ended, Shockwave turned to look at Scourge where she lay on the berth. Her optics were open now, and she was staring right back at him. "Where were you…" she breathed in shakily, shivering fitfully. Knock Out was instantly at her side to take care of her, but she ignored him. Her optics remained set on him, and her gaze burned into his spark. The anger that had been there before was now set ablaze into utter and complete loathing. "I needed you…" her optics-_slag it!_-her optics were so broken and dim he could have begged her to stop staring at him! "You didn't… you weren't…"

She quieted when he closer to her. For a moment he assessed the situation in silence, still feeling the terrible rage growing inside of him. He was just so…_angry_! Never before had he felt such an emotion take hold of him so _completely_! His thoughts were for Scourge's swift recovery, but his desires were bent on tearing that cowardly Seeker limb from limb…

With a calming breath, he reached up to stroke the tears away from her face. But as his servo neared her, she _flinched_… she shied away from him as if..as if _he_ would harm her.. "Scourge, I-…" he clenched his servos into fists when he realized that they were shaking. She seemed to take notice of it too, and she looked up at him in disbelief. "I didn't…If I had known, I-…" He bit his glossa until it drew energon in his mouth. Starscream was going to pay for what he had done. And it was going to be by his hand and his _alone_.

Wasting no time, he turned to leave the medical ward.

Well, maybe he wouldn't do it alone… He seemed to recall a certain four legged creature who had once expressed his desires to chew up and spit out said mech…

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	17. Chapter 17

**I know most of you were hoping for some real badaft beat down on Starscream in this chapter... I did my best. But I've been feeling a little depressed lately because I just found out that my dad is deploying over seas again in two weeks. It was really short notice and it just made me feel awful. So, sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I hope you like it :)**

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Shockwave watched Predaking's tail whip back and forth agitatedly as waited for the Seeker to appear. He had calmly requested the Seeker's presence to discuss something of importance, and the mech had agreed to meet him up on the outer hull. Of course, Shockwave didn't plan to discuss anything. It was more a lecture.

_Although…it won't even be that._ He had concluded that there was no structure to what he was about to do. Revenge would not change the fact that Starscream had forcibly raped Scourge in a storage closet, but he had a small hope that the illogicalness of the whole idea of revenge would make her feel better. And although it seemed illogical, he concluded that it wasn't entirely. By taking this stand against Starscream he could make a point to warn the Seeker away from Scourge for good. And it would satisfy his personal rage against the mech.

"Ah, Shockwave.." Starscream transformed and landed on the deck gracefully, smirking. "I knew that you would ask for my help eventually with this project, but I must say I have no interest in it." with that said, he turned away to go inside.

"I am relieved to point out that is not why I called you hear." Shockwave said flatly, watching as the Seeker stopped. He turned around somewhat nervously, clasping his servos behind his back.

"Oh, well, in that case…" he shuffled, eyeing Predaking with distaste. "What is it you wished to..speak about?"

"Your assault on my assistant, Scourge. Who is also my friend..." At that, the air seemed to still between the three of them. Starscream choked back a gasp of surprise and started to back away, but a growl from Predaking was all it took to keep him rooted to where he stood. Shockwave approached him slowly, his gaze hardening. "I knew that you were capable of low things, but what you did to her was atrocious!"

Starscream tried to speak, but gagged when Shockwave snatched him by the throat and pulled him closer. "Don't you dare even speak! I do not want to hear your lies. Scourge is in the medical ward because of you, and you are going to pay for your crimes against her…" The Seeker struggled in his iron grip, his optics growing wide.

"What crimes?" he rasped, still trying to weasel out of the consequences he brought upon himself. "She isn't even a-_Decepticon_!" he squeaked when the choke hold tightened. Predaking snarled. Only a sharp glance from Shockwave kept him where he was crouched, ready to pounce.

"She may not be of an affiliation, but she is under _our_ protection. You would do well to remember that Starscream."

"_Okay!-Noted_…" he rasped, clawing at the servo around his throat. "_You can let me go now_."

"Oh, I don't think so." Shockwave narrowed his optic at him. "Not just yet." He raised the Seeker off of the ground and watched as he struggled helplessly. "I said you were going to pay for what you have done…" his voice dropped to a threatening whisper. "You haven't paid yet." With that said he dropped the Seeker, and let him catch his breath briefly where he crouched on the ground, on his servos and knees. The mech clutched at his chest, coughing and spitting energon onto the ground. "You're _insane_!"

"No..just angry." With a well placed and a well deserved kick right between Starscream's lengthy thighs, he caved in the mech's groin piece. The resulting screech was enough to live up to his name. "I hope that damaged your reproductive organs beyond repair.. but even if it didn't-" without warning, he kicked him again! "maybe _that_ will."

Starscream cried out in agony, curling into a ball of pain and misery. Streams of curses filled the air, high pitched and pathetic as the Seeker cried. Tears streamed down his face at the immeasurable pain in his nether regions.

"Now, hear this Starscream…" He bent down to become more level with the mech, his gaze alone threatening to kill him. "Scourge is a good femme with a bright spark. She has a future here with us under my protection _and_ Lord Megatron's. If you ever-_ever_-dare to come within even a few meters of her again, I will _murder_ you. You will never hurt _my_ femme ever again! Do you hear me Starscream?!"

"Scrap you!" he choked, crawling away from the angered science officer. Shockwave merely narrowed his optics at him.

"No..scrap _you_." He nodded at Predaking, and as he turned to leave he heard the Predacon pounce on the unsuspecting mech. Growls mixed with shouts and tearing of armor, and Shockwave ignored every notion of it. He had executed his form of revenge. Predaking could devour the aft for all he cared. "Good riddance…"

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	18. Chapter 18

**Well, here it is... the last chapter... :') enjoy!**

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After Scourge was able to be removed from the medical ward, Shockwave took her to her quarters… with Knock Out's permission of course. The mech had seemed reluctant to let her go with him, but as soon as Starscream was admitted to medical care he had practically pushed them out the door. Apparently, the Seeker had been in a _freak accident_ that had left him unable to function, and it would be weeks before he was back to duty. Of course, Megatron was alerted and had confirmed the incident as unimportant and had everyone return to their duties.

That had been nearly two earth days ago, and still Scourge did not wake. Well, not in the normal way. He had seen her open her optics numerous times, but every time he attempted to converse with her it was as if she was in a trance. She shivered a lot, and she cried as if remembering all that had happened to her. It was unsettling to see her in this condition, but he stayed dutifully at her side, waiting…Waiting for her to regain control of her senses, so he could tell her what he needed to say. He didn't leave her once, leaving nothing up to chance. It was _that_ important that he be there when she came around. At least, it was important to him.

Standing up from the chair next to her berth, he circled around her slowly to take her vitals again. She was completely normal it seemed. But still, she would not respond to him, and she still shivered. He had checked multiple times, she was of normal temperature, but it seemed she was convinced otherwise. And that… bothered him.

There was no other way he could explain the feeling he had. He was simply bothered by the whole ordeal. And the feeling in itself bothered him.

"Scourge…" he whispered her name aloud, running his servo over his weary optic. "Some say that people in unnatural slumber can still hear you… well, I never believed that to be true and I never wished for it to be true until now." He pulled the chair closer to her berth and sat down again, watching her attentively for any sign of recognition, but there was none. "I find myself wishing to hear your voice.. to hear you say that you are alright, even if it may be a lie… You do lie about your emotional condition a lot, and it confuses and frustrates me.. but I am so _desperate_ to hear anything from you that I…" he paused, sighing. "I have never been so desperate in my life Scourge. I feel that I have failed you in everything, continuously. I tried to correct my mistakes, but it seems as if I can do nothing right by you… And it troubles me to no end. To know that I can do nothing correctly, it allows me to relate to how you constantly tell me you feel. And I have never felt this before. I have always done what I felt was right, what I knew was best…"

He clasped his servos together and bowed his helm. "What I thought was best…"

Going silent again, he felt his spark beat irregularly. He had noted it's pattern and had asked Knock Out if he should be concerned about his health, but the doctor had only said that it was because he was anxious. An emotional response to stressful situations. He had not thought it possible, but he accepted it as fact. He was worried about Scourge and that was affecting him.

"Scourge, what have you done to me?" he asked, not looking up at her. He didn't know if he could again. Her condition was driving him to the edge of sanity! It was illogical for her to be like this when she was no longer in danger, but maybe it was because she was in shock and therefore completely logical… "Before I met you I never doubted my logic. I never questioned myself or my motives. Somehow you have changed me. Your influence has by some means altered my way of thinking! And I don't like it. But I accept it. Which in itself puts me at unease. And I have a grave suspicion that these affects will be irreversible. If that is so, I do not know what to do. I have never had to consider and weigh my options and consequences with logic _and_ emotions..." He briefly glanced at her servo where it rested hanging over the edge of her berth. The instinct to reach out and hold it crossed his mind, and he almost complied, but he was unsure if he should.

"I have always been knowledgeable in everything that I do. But in this instance, I find myself at a loss. I-…I need someone to teach me how to cope with this… And the only person I would ever want to help me with something of that degree..is you..

"I need you to wake up Scourge… I need your emotional capability to understand and relate to things. I find myself wishing to hear your illogical statements just so I do not have to exist in silence. But above all, I just want to be sure that you are alright. You may have your issues, but I know you are strong. You have never failed to baffle me with your resilience… and I am asking you-_pleading you_- to show me this resilience now. I need you to say something, anything! Just to put my spark at ease…"

Still she was silent. And she was unmoving except for her shivering. He checked once again with his monitor to see her condition was indeed normal, and he was frustrated even further. He just couldn't _stand_ to see her like this anymore!

Glancing around the room he spotted a large thermal blanket on her shelf, and he quickly rose to his feet to retrieve it. Reprimanding himself for not thinking of it sooner, he cast it over her smaller frame and tucked it around her. He recalled many times back on Cybertron when she would be comforted by simple warmth around her, whether she was cold or not.

"Scourge, please wake up…" glancing at her servo again, he lightly brushed his fingers over hers. "Please…" _I don't think I could live without you… You are so important to me that I have abandoned all logic. You are a large part of my life that I do not want to let go of. _"I need you…" his servo curled around hers and he brought it up to hold over his anxious spark. "Do you feel this? It is because of you. You should be awake and congratulating yourself for doing something I said was impossible." He made a small chuckling sound, and then puzzled over the action. It was something that Scourge did frequently. "You always did seem to find joy in me being wrong. I suppose it is…_humorous,_ in a way."

He brushed his thumb over the top of her servo as he kept it over his spark. Somehow, the contact calmed him. And it gave him peace of mind. "It seems that I may not be able to say this to you while you are awake for some time.. but I cannot wait any longer." He stood slowly, still keeping her close to him. Leaning down until his lips were near her audios, he spoke quietly but clearly. "Scourge, teach me the meaning of humor. Teach me to feel the joy in laughter. Tell me how to make you feel better when you are unwell. Help me to make you smile when you are sad. Teach me to be illogical… because if this pain is what it feels like to deny emotions around you, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel as if I am not good enough for you, and that is why I tried for so long to ignore the change in my ways. I want to please you Scourge. And if that means rewriting everything that I have ever known, so be it." he felt his breath hitch slightly, but he ignored his confused mind and just did what he felt he should. He moved closer and pressed his lips to her cheek.

"They say that _'Love is patient, love is kind'_, and I surely do hope that is the case. Because I will need all the patience and kindness you can afford to give me. But I promise I will become the very mech that you desire, no matter what it takes…"

* * *

"Shockwave?"

He jolted upright, onlining his optics quickly at the sound of her quiet voice. He took a moment to remember what had happened and where he was before looking at her, but afterwards wished that he had not wasted the time. She was awake. And she was smiling.

"Hey…" her dimmed optics flickered slightly as she whispered, turning over onto her side. She gave him a tired look and curled up into a ball with her servos underneath her helm and her knees tucked up to her chest. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work to do?"

He considered that for a moment. He really should have been in his laboratory, but he just couldn't leave her side until he was absolutely sure that she was well again. "I have been.. watching over you. That is more important to me than watching over the incubating embryos… besides, they are in no danger, and they have not been harmed." She rolled her optics humorously at him, but still smiled.

"Aww…Shocky cares about me…" she hummed, sitting up slowly. She winced, and he quickly motioned for her to stay where she was. He pushed her back down with one servo, and he let the contact linger on her shoulder for a moment before pulling away. "Ugh, you really _do_ care."

"You are sore from your injuries. I would not advise you to move around much…" he trailed off, inspecting her frame now that the blanket had fallen from her shoulders. Her cuts were almost healed, but the markings remained. Reaching out to trace one of the scars he was surprised once again when she flinched away. He drew back slightly, and she suddenly frowned.

"Shockwave, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Hush. Do not blame yourself for anything, and do not tear into yourself for things that you do. You have been through a great ordeal, and it has left you damaged and frightened. Your reactions are… understandable." He waited for her to respond, hoping that she would say something, but she didn't. Her optics dimmed and she looked down at the floor. Her sudden saddened expression suggested that she was pondering what had befallen her. "Are you well-?" he stopped abruptly when she sighed, and he reworded his inquiry. "How are you…feeling?"

She looked up at that, her gaze sad. "I'm cold. I'm empty. I'm used. I feel like all I have been working for has been ruined…" she gnashed her detna, glaring at the wall. "I _tried_ to fight him, Shockwave! I really did _try_! But he just-he…" tears started to form in her optics and he quickly hushed her again, moving closer to take her servo in his before she could flinch away.

"He was too strong for you Scourge. Do not blame yourself. It is I who is at fault here."

"How is this _your_ fault?"

He went silent. Pondering upon the question, he realized that he had said it out of reaction instead of thinking about it before saying it. It was not his fault exactly, but he could have helped to prevent it. If he had taken better care of her. If he had kept her close. If he had taken her as his sparkmate when she had asked him to back on Cybertron… he could have prevented all of this from happening.

Taking a deep breath, he sighed and released her servo. "It is hard to explain, but if you are willing to listen, I have something I must tell you…"

"I'm listening."

"I should never have let you go." When she stared at him in confusion he proceeded to explain to her that he should not have let her leave the laboratory the night she was raped. He had wanted to further discuss with her the parameters of his experiment with her, but he was afraid that she would not understand why he had wanted to kiss her. "I was conflicted. And because of that I wanted you to leave… If I had not sent you away…" his gaze dropped and he found himself unable to complete the sentence. "Scourge, since I found you here I have begun to grow… feelings of attachment towards you. I care about you more deeply than anyone before you. And because of that, I swear to you now that I will never let anything happen to you again."

She was quiet. So quiet… for a horrifying moment he feared that she might be upset. But then she smiled. "Shockwave… You are such a goofball sometimes.." she laughed quietly to herself, then her expression became curious. "Why _did_ you kiss me?"

Deciding that enough denying what he was feeling was enough, he answered without hesitation. "Because I wanted to."

Scourge's faceplates glowed bright pink when he confessed his secret, and her optics widened in disbelief. But she didn't laugh. She didn't do anything rash. She just stared at him with a soft, confused but happy, smile.

"Shockwave… would you help me with an experiment?" She said finally, propping herself up on her elbows as she asked.

"It would depend on the nature of your experiment." He answered cautiously, not sure if he was liking this sudden idea that had popped into her mind. "What is it about?"

"It's.. a surprise."

"You mean that one of the variables is me not knowing what it is?"

She rolled her optics with an amused laugh. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"And it will not cause either of us any harm?"

"No.. I don't think so."

"Very well." He nodded his consent. Although this behavior was abnormal for her, he was actually pleased with the sudden change in subject between them. "What should I do?"

"Come closer."

He did as he was told and shifted on her berth until she was directly next to him. But she shook her helm quickly, indicating that he was not close enough. Cautiously, he leaned over her until his chest was directly over hers, and then he yelped in surprise. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she hugged him. He felt her pull his frame flush with hers and in his stunned silence he did nothing to stop her. He simply braced his servos on the berth on either side of her to avoid harming her and let her continue with her experiment.

Little by little, as her lips pressed against his cheek in addition to the embrace, he slowly began to realize that he had been hoodwinked. This was no experiment. She had merely tricked him in order to get him to repeat his actions the other day_. If she has resorted to trickery to make me do her bidding I will have to be more careful from now on. _He made that note quickly, but he did not move to pull away from her.

"Scourge…" she paused to look up at him and he suddenly went quiet. His spark was hammering hard in his chest, almost aching. But it was not the feeling of worry like it was earlier. It was different. It hurt. But it felt _good_. Like most things about the past few Earth weeks, it confused him to no end. But it didn't bother him. Not anymore. He had come to terms with the feelings he was having. Now if only he could adapt to them…

Seeing that she was still expecting him to say something, he sighed deeply. "It is good to see you are well again." he whispered, and he brought their lips together before she could comment further. It may have been unnecessary and maybe illogical, but he could not care less. He cared about _her_..deeply.

* * *

**Be on the lookout for "Love is patient, love is kind"! :) what? you thought I was going to leave it like that? I think not ;) **

**Leave a Review please! And have an fantastic summer. :)**


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